Since life is complicated enough, let me try and keep influence as simple as it can be. I’ve got nine rules, nine guidelines, if you like, to help your work as an influencer.
In this part, I’d like to talk about some of the foundational rules that will help to make life a lot easier for you and prepare you to work out what it is you need to do to get what you want.
Be Clear About What You Want
Rule number one is be very clear about what you do want. Get very specific in terms of what you want people to think, feel and do. That’s really what influence is about getting other people to think, feel and do different things.
Focus on Understanding Others
Rule number two is about focus your intent on really understanding people, really getting beneath the surface and understanding what their drivers are, what their values are, what their agenda is, what they’re hoping to achieve in their life and in their world.
Not just pertinent to you, but to all of the other stakeholders that they may have as well, because you’re not the only one trying to influence them.
Get a depth of understanding and empathy for what it is like to walk in their shoes, to be in their world, and that’s where you start to really pick up the clues that you’ll need later on.
Be Open-Minded
Rule number three is to be very open-minded. By this, I mean you’ve got values, you’ve got key things that you believe about the world and about the way people should be.
As you’re listening to people, you need to put your values to one side, park them. Put them out of the way for a moment because they will filter everything that you hear, everything that you observe, and everything that you think about the other people.
To really get that depth of understanding, you’ve got to step beyond yourself into their world and recognise that they’ve got a very good reason why they are doing what they’re currently doing, why they’re feeling the way they are at the moment.
That reason is usually because they’ve decided it’s best for them. You don’t have to agree with it, but you do have to understand it. This will help put you in a position to know what to do for the best.
So, these first three rules are about preparing you to go out there and find out the information, the intelligence, the real insights that’ll help you to become much more influential. Be very clear about what you want, what you’re aiming for, focus hard on understanding the other people, and stop judging people while you’re listening to them. Make sure that you get the real sense of what it is they’re all about.
Colin Gautrey
Provocative Coach/Mentor | Specialism: Impact and Influence
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