We all know there are a lot of people around us who right now, are very afraid. The level of uncertainty, disruption is dare I say it, unprecedented.
Assuming you have a job to do, and you need their cooperation, or at least wish to help them in these difficult times, how should you modify your approach, because they may be scared out of their minds?
Standard approach from yours truly remains valid as a foundation:
- Be clear about what you want them to do differently (or think/feel).
- Understand their agenda, what they are trying to do and how accepting your influence will impact them.
- Be mindful of the indirect competition your influence will have.
- Prepare your approach taking into account their personality, context and history.
- Focus on helping them to make an informed choice to agree to your proposal.
- Pressure-test their agreement to be sure they mean what they say.
- Move fast to deliver on your side of whatever bargain you have struck
And, if you think they are very worried about what is happening, also consider:
- The influencers they have around them, family, friends. If they are also having to influence others too, you could help them in that task.
- Keep close to make sure your influence is sticking. Scared people may be quite volatile as they thresh around looking for a fix.
- Call out the emotions. Don’t duck and dive, get right to the point, “You may be feeling rather worried right now?” They probably won’t want to admit that, so will want to convince you otherwise, and that will start to change their own internal state too.
- Extend this to empathise with them if you feel it appropriate. That means, find a way to let them know you know exactly how they feel right now.
- As the results start to come in, progress starts to be made, openly recognise it. This will reinforce their decision to back you, and motivate them for more effort. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
- Celebrate victory – sorry, the result. Don’t just move on to the next challenge. Raise a (virtual) glass, thank them and encourage them to turn with optimism to the next part of the journey.
- Especially if you are very positive, usher in a mindset of compassion (not sympathy) and be tolerant to their human right to feel what they are feeling.
At the end of the day, things must happen. People and organisations need to adjust, and adjust fast. But, in the process, you don’t want to create a trail of relationship destruction that at some point you will need to return to and mend.
Be kind.
The Gautrey Influence Blog
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