Positive Influence for Women Summary

Introduction

All of the key articles can be accessed here on this page. Alternatively, you can purchase the eBook on Amazon if you search for it.

To access the key articles here, please click on the title of interest below.

Networking and Women

“Burke et al (1995) investigated the differences between men and women in their interpersonal networks. They concluded that women relied more heavily on their external network than men. They speculated that this could place them at a disadvantage to their male colleagues who tended to have larger internal networks, particularly when it comes to promotion decisions. Also relevant was their exploration of the potential causes of women finding it more difficult to build informal networks within their organisations, one of which was deliberate exclusion by men who were in the majority”. Colin Gautrey, The Criticality of Political Skill, 2007.

If this is the case, women potentially have a distinct advantage when it comes to achieving recognition and making progress beyond the boundaries of their organisation. With generalisations there are always exceptions but, as I look around my network, there are more women who have larger networks than men. I would also venture to suggest that women are much more likely to remain in touch with me. Would you agree?

On the other hand, what this research is suggesting is that, internally, women are at a disadvantage. I’m not sure this is true. However, it does raise the idea that if women are great at networking externally, why not so good internally? Same skills but different environment. Is it really that their minority position is closing the door?

Consequently:

• How do you build your external networks?
• Does this differ from what you do internally?
• What can you learn from the external work that can benefit you internally?
• What action can you take to capitalise on your external connections?
• What action can you take to ensure you are not disadvantaged internally?

Additional reading in the eBook:

• Men vs. Women.
• Networking: Missing a Trick?
• Hate Networking? You Are Not Alone!
• Developing the Right Networks
• 21 Ways to Become More Visible
• Developing More Advocates

Influencing Styles and Women

The Influence Profile is a psychometric which describes how people prefer to behave when they are influencing. It considers four dimensions of behaviour:

• Sociability and Networking,
• Tact and Diplomacy,
• Determination and
• Emotional Control.

If you are behaving differently from the way your stakeholders prefer to influence, they may be distracted from what you are saying. The more flexible you can be with your behaviour, the more engaging you will become.

When compiling a profile, an individual’s preference to favour or avoid each of the four dimensions is calibrated. The resulting influencing style describes how the individual is likely to come across to others in the workplace when they are behaving according to their preference — which for most people is most of the time. These habitual behaviours can be flexed with sufficient awareness and skill.

Which of the four dimensions do you think women favour and which ones do you think they avoid when influencing others? And while you are thinking about that, which ones do you think men tend to favour and avoid?

This suggests that if a woman wants to communicate more effectively in a work environment that is more heavily influenced and dominated by men, she should consider reducing the amount of emotion in her behaviour and also be less concerned about upsetting people.Based on the cumulative data I have built up since creating the Influence Profile, there is strong evidence to confirm what you no doubt suspected. Women tend to favour using Tact and Diplomacy and avoid Emotional Control (i.e. they use lots of emotional communication and have natural sensitivity to what is happening for the other person). In direct contrast, men are more likely to keep their emotions out of sight and be less aware of how others are reacting (i.e. favouring Emotional Control and avoiding Tact and Diplomacy). There is also a slight tendency in men to be a little more sociable and extrovert than women.

However, that is not really the point about influencing styles. What really needs to happen is for you to reflect on the unique characteristics of each important stakeholder and then consider adapting to their personal style, rather than be ruled by these generalisations.

Having trained thousands of people on influencing styles I can definitely testify that there are plenty of men who communicate with great sensitivity and emotion and quite a few women who are extremely hard-nosed. Becoming more aware of styles and more flexible in your approach is definitely the way to go when it comes to influencing important stakeholders.

Take some action:

1. Think of a person you don’t get along with terribly well.
2. Determine which of the four dimensions you think they are favouring and avoiding.
3. Compare this to the ones you favour and avoid.
4. Make some decisions about how to flex your behaviour to remove the potential distraction.
5. Review what happened.

I am often asked which style is best. My consistent response is that the best style is the one which worked. Stay aware, be flexible.

Responses:

“To be really honest I think sometimes women confuse empathy with influence. Women have very high EQ (huge generalization I appreciate). Knowing how someone is feeling and putting yourself in their shoes is great but sometimes not as influential as perhaps it could be. To influence I guess you have to have a purpose and empathy doesn’t quite get you there.”

[withheld] Chief Officer(male), Hong Kong

“When you are under pressure it is important to resist the temptation to respond immediately. Breathe, relax, listen and then structure your response.”

Jean Greenaway, Director, UK

Additional reading in the eBook:

• How to Influence With Style.
• Behavioural Summary of the Influence Profile
• Exercise: Influence Style Clues and Evidence
• Decoding and Resolving Personality Conflicts
• Which Style of Influence is Best?
• How to Develop Your Influencing Style

Your Performance as an Influencer

In becoming more influential you need to gain a clear understanding of where you are now and where you want to get to. This involves taking a long hard look at what is challenging you at the moment, what is happening, and how you are feeling about it. It is also useful to gain an external perspective too, perhaps by discussing your situation with a few trusted colleagues (male and female) and getting their feedback and insights. Although you may disagree with what they say, you must listen carefully to their views and feed it into your analysis.

I am now going to ask you to read another article and complete the exercise it contains. This will give you:

• Clarity on what you are doing well and why it works.
• A better understanding of what you need to do differently.
• Insights from trusted colleagues about your influencing skill.

As you are doing the exercise, decide on three actions you are going to take as a result. Make these definite and commit to doing them. The whole point of this programme is to become more influential and that is only possible if you make changes to what you do.

Additional reading in the eBook:

• Complete Exploring Your Influencing Performance Exercise

Gender is Not the Problem

When you did the exercise in the last article (Exploring Your Influencing Performance), I wonder what causes you identified. Many cite their gender as the cause of their difficulties. If you thought that, you are not alone. In fact, research papers repeatedly note the heightened sensitivity towards political and influencing skills among female participants.

However, they are wrong, and awareness of why can significantly alter your frame of mind towards the challenges you are facing and also hint at different ways of becoming more influential.

The women who are contributing to these research papers are struggling, frustrated or irritated, not because they are women, but because they are in a minority position. All those who are in a minority position find it challenging trying to influence the majority. That is a feature of group dynamics, not gender. People tend to notice what is making them different from the majority and use that as the focus for their woes. This applies to men working in female dominated environments, Asians in Caucasian groups, Brits among French…

Viewing the challenge as being one of influencing from a minority position removes some of the emotive backdrop and allows a more neutral consideration of the situation. What is needed is an analysis of the group you wish to be influential within; the dynamics of how that group functions, how this compares to you and finally careful strategizing about how to gain the influence required (make sure and look at the reading list below).The problem this focus creates is there isn’t much you can do about any of those differences. It also seems to create divisions and disharmony. Work is challenging enough as it is without adding additional obstacles, especially ones which you could remove or at least lessen in their impact on your performance.

A final point on this topic is that one of the big disadvantages of being a member of the majority is that it is much harder to stand out. Leaders have to stand out and being in a minority position automatically makes you more noticeable. Get your standing-out strategy right and you could gain a major advantage.

Responses:

“I have read your article and it makes so much sense. The whole victim mentality skews the view of what is really happening. Being in a minority is an inevitability when you go beyond operational management level as the Board Room or Executive will always accommodate more men than women. Accepting this but working to our strengths is what lends power and the ability to influence.  You don’t mention about conformity which I believe is a big issue. Too many women try to be like their male counterparts rather than recognise where their difference can be their strength.”

Maureen Atkins, Executive Coach, UK

Additional reading in the eBook:

• Raising Your Game — Influencing Groups
• What Is Group Power? How to Influence Strategically
• Women, Influence and Minority Groups
• Standing Out and Group Acceptance
• Exercise: Informal Groups in Your Organisation
• Group, Organisational, Formal and Informal Power

Personal Power and Gender

As a professional, where do you get your personal power and influence from?

This is a question we have posed to hundreds of people over the last ten years, and the answers make for some fascinating reading. One of the ways I ask this question, and subsequently help people to become more powerful, is via an online tool – The Personal Power Diagnostic. This helps people to determine their hierarchy of power sources and highlights areas for development. And yes, there is gender bias in the results in a sample of over 400 diagnostic reports that I have analysed.

One of the implications of power sources when it comes to influence is that if your sources are different from the target of your influence, you may not be as influential as you could be. Use the same sources and you’ll enjoy greater influence with that individual.

Use this link to find out more about the diagnostic:Before I share the results of my analysis, I’d like to challenge you to see if you can predict what the gender differences will be. In order to do this, I’d like to offer you the chance of completing the diagnostic (for a small charge). One reason for doing this is to help you understand how the tool works, which will make the analysis more meaningful to you later. The other reason is that it will immediately help to increase your awareness and also give you plenty of ideas about how to develop your personal power.

Responses:

“For women in leadership positions, confidence comes from developing an authentic style. Being comfortable in your own skin as a leader is important and this means finding a style that is your own and female but also one that is ‘in authority’. Often by using your relationship power rather than your position power, you will be adopting a far more contemporary style of leadership which also resonates well with your team. It’s vital that female leaders connect with a sense of purpose first and foremost. If you do this, your own natural leadership style will flourish, you’ll feel confident and energised, and you’ll be far more adept at bringing your team up to speed with the ambitions you have for them and the business. It’s widely acknowledged that female representation on UK boards is lower than it should be.”

Penny de Valk, Managing Director, Penna Talent Practice, London, UK

Additional reading in the eBook:

• Nine Sources of Personal Power.
• Are You Wasting Your Time When You Try to Influence?

Note: The original ten power sources used in the diagnostic have been reduced to nine in some of these articles.

Boosting Self-Confidence

Since I began working on this project (Positive Influence for Women) I’ve had a great deal of feedback from women (and men) about what women can do to become more influential. One of the key themes is about the need to be more confident when attempting to influence.

If people notice your lack of confidence, they are going to need more convincing that the points you are making are correct. It also undermines your skills; if you are not feeling confident you are unlikely to be able to perform at your best.

This is true of men too. The difference seems to be that it is perhaps a little easier for men to put on an air of confidence. Behind that display, men are just as prone to doubts, apprehensions and insecurities as women.

It would be easy to conclude from this that the skill which needs to be developed is that of displaying confidence even if you don’t feel confident. In my view, that would be a big mistake. Useful perhaps in the short term or in emergencies, but long-term it’s not terribly helpful. The reason for this is that people, especially senior and experienced people, are generally pretty good at sensing doubts.

There are several articles in the further reading section below which will help you to explore how to do this. The question they will help you to answer is…What is needed, for men and women, is to develop the skill of being able to develop genuine confidence as quickly as possible. This is the deeply held belief (or even conviction) that you are completely able to do what you need to do and are able to handle anything unexpected along the way. If you have such confidence, you will be able to relax and focus on achieving your objective rather than worrying about everything which could go wrong and talking yourself out of success.

What needs to change in order for you to feel totally confident?

Before you can answer this, it also helps to clarify more accurately where, or with what, you wish to be more confident. Again, these articles will help you.

The bottom line is that any progress you make on increasing your feelings of confidence will have an immediate impact on your success as an influencer.

Responses:

“My observation about many women in leadership positions is that often a lot of their fears and anxieties are very far from reality and they end up working themselves up unnecessarily.  I think taking time to really assess what your realistic barriers are needs to be where anybody starts, that way you’re more likely to work up a plan that is reflective of your actual barriers not your perceived ones.Identifying what are you more likely to be energised by and what can you use within your comfort zone is key.  It’s commonplace to trap yourself into thinking ‘I must work on this thing that I’m not very good at’ and I so often then see people struggling to achieve their goals.  I think using what you’re already good at is a massive benefit, it just might take some digging to turn it into how it will help you influence.For example, if you’re a real attention to detail person and get a real buzz out of planning, use it to your advantage to remind yourself that you’re the best placed person to go and influence someone else in that particular project because you’re the expert etc.Similarly, work out what gives you confidence and make sure you’ve had a giant dose of it before you go into the situation you need to influence.  For some, it’s having someone with them, wearing something in particular, prepping in a certain way etc.”

Charlotte Speak, The Questioning Lady, Leadership and Talent Coach (@questioninglady).

Additional reading in the eBook:

• What If — So What: The Continuum of Confidence
• Deconstructing Self-Confidence
• How to Develop Genuine Gravitas
• How to Develop Political Courage

Women, Men and Personal Power

Having carefully considered the data from over 400 Personal Power Diagnostics (46% women), mainly completed by people in middle to senior roles in large organisations, there are five striking differences between how men and women believe they derive their power and influence.

1. Technical: The extent to which you get your personal power from your technical knowledge, skills, competence and experience at your job. Men are more concerned about their ability to do their job as a source of influence than women (Men: 7.41; Women 6.82; Difference -0.59 — see footnote about scoring).
2. Impact: The extent to which you gain your personal power from your ability to make an impressive personal impact on others. Women are more tuned in to the personal impact they create when influencing than men (Men: 4.38; Women: 4.90; Diff: +0.52).
3. Interpersonal: The extent to which you have developed and used interpersonal techniques and skills as a source of personal power. It is the power that flows from your ability to build rapport and communicate. Women are more accustomed to using their interpersonal skills to gain power and influence than men (Men: 6.56; Women: 6.99; Diff: -0.43).
4. Intrapersonal: The extent to which you get your power internally, from within your strong personal resources, rather than externally visible techniques or resources. Women are more aware than men of the benefits of inner calm and self-belief when it comes to influencing successfully (Men: 5.95; Women: 6.33; Diff: -0.38).
5. Status: The extent to which you get your power from your role and level within the organisational hierarchy, within key projects and on committees. Although both score low in this, men are significantly more concerned about status than women (Men: 2.81; Women: 2.08; Diff: +0.73).

These differences are further validated because there was hardly any difference between men and women on the five other sources of power used in the diagnostic (Network, Resource, Force, Physical and Image). This research suggests that women are far more likely to attempt to influence others by using their impact and interpersonal skills while drawing confidence from their personal beliefs. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to base their influence on role specific competence and status. It would be tempting to dismiss this as obvious however, to do so would miss an important development opportunity. Influence is more likely to be successful when the person you want to influence:

1. Recognises that if they allow themselves to be influenced, their personal power will be enhanced or at least protected.
2. Notice that the influencer is displaying sources of personal power that they recognise in themselves (and thus respect).

For instance, if the person you wish to influence is highly status and competence driven, displaying your own status (or the status of your colleagues) is likely to make them receptive — it’s the sort of power they recognise and respect. Then if they notice that your proposal will allow them to demonstrate higher levels of competence (perhaps by allowing them to join you on the conference stage), your success is much more likely. Power-dressing and building rapport, while useful, is going to fall well behind in the influencing stakes. As with so many of the topics in this series, there is a cautionary note. There are always exceptions to any rule. Rather than rely on the assumption that all men derive their sense of personal power from status and competence, use your observational skills to work out what sources of personal power the particular stakeholder is using and respects. The clues will be there fs you know what to look for. Then adapt appropriately.

Responses:

“I’m a board level (or thereabouts) woman used to running teams of 150-350 technical people (I’m a CIO). I think my influence comes from very different aspects with different audiences.I have had exceptional success winning commitment and loyalty from IT people in my teams. I think this comes largely from the fact I have very strong technical skills across the whole of IT — the competence you describe as more typical of men. When I come in as a new manager (I’m typically a change agent) the good IT people are palpably relieved to talk to someone who really understands their points at a technical level. You can see them in the first meeting or two let go of their anxiety about whether I will appreciate them and their problems and steer a sensible course. It makes it easier for me that they rapidly trust me (there are other, less evident reasons for winning trust and I don’t feel I understand those fully — I know they play a part). Of course I derive power from being the head of IT, but I derive impact with my team primarily from being credible through my competence. Another benefit is that it is easy to engage with IT people at junior levels if you can talk about technical details with sense — if not with knowledge (we all get out of date!).That competence is largely irrelevant in influencing peers and board members. A small proportion of such people (more often women than men in my experience) recognise and value competence. But influence with peers come more from personal rapport, the strength of my network overall, and my ability to help them politically, personally (coaching) or with resource for their projects.If I have to really pull out the stops to get my way politically it is by having the right supporters around me and by determination to reach the best outcome for the organisation.So it seems to me to confound two questions if you ask from where my influence stems: it depends on whom I am influencing.”

(withheld), Director, UK

Additional reading in the eBook:

• Organisational Power in a Nutshell
• The Components of Power
• Building Personal Power

Scoring: The Personal Power Diagnostic asks people to select words from ten tables representing where our research has found people feel they get their power from. Each table shows one word from each source of power, and people are able to select a maximum of five words on each table. Consequently, for each source of power the maximum score is 10 yet the total score across all sources of power is limited to 50. The combination of these two factors makes this diagnostic more sensitive. The easiest way to understand this more fully is to do the diagnostic (click here).

Women and Bullying

Workplace bullying is a problem, whichever way you look at it. And it seems to be a bigger problem for women than for men. One survey from 2014 found that an estimated 9.6m US workers had been the target of serious bullying in the preceding year*, of those, 60% were women. Put another way, right now, 5.8m women are being bullied at work in the US alone. Women are 50% more likely to be bullied than men.

Also coming out of the survey is that men are much more likely to bully than women (69%) and, when they do, they are more likely to bully women. However, when women bully, they are much more likely to bully other women (68%) rather than men (32%).

This is relevant to influence because being the target of bullying is the extreme of powerlessness and inability to influence. In Keryl Egan’s fantastic article (Bullying and the Politics of Power and Influence) she clearly draws the link between bullying and power. But, rather than continue down the statistical minefield, it seems to me that everyone, but especially women:

1. Need to be able to spot the early signs of bullying behaviour (and this is likely to vary between male and female bullies).
2. Should continually work to build their personal power, confidence and interpersonal skills to be able to deal more effectively with problems which do arise.
3. Ensure that in their pursuit of power and influence, they do not inadvertently adopt behaviours associated with bullying.

One of the challenges about coping with deviant and abusive behaviour is that most people, at least the first time around, meet it without ever having prepared for it. They may have witnessed it but not thought through how they would deal with it if it happened to them. And there are many ways you can prepare yourself, or begin to resolve the problem in Bullying: Prevention and Cure.

A few questions to reflect on…

• What behaviours do you consider to be bullying?
• Why does bullying happen?
• Do men and women differ in the way they bully?
• How would your response differ if it was a women rather than a man bullying you?

Resources

If you, or someone close to you is the target of bullying, the following resources may be useful:

• StopBullying.Gov – Get Help Now.
• Bullying UK.
• National Centre Against Bullying.

Don’t delay and think it will go away. Do something, and if nothing else, take a look at Bullying: Prevention and Cure.

Responses:

“If you think you are being bullied:

1. Consider what is happening that causes you to think you are being bullied. Record the situations when you feel you are being bullied. Note dates, times, the situation, what was said and how it impacted on your behaviour.
2. Remember that not all bullies are loud and aggressive, some are quietly manipulative.
3. Bullies pick on people who allow them to use bullying behaviour. Explore what it is about your behaviour that could be encouraging the ‘bully’ to act as they do.
4. Talk to someone you trust and respect at work, and let them know what is happening.
5. Consider the consequences of standing up to the bully, and whether you can handle them.
6. Take control of your inner dialogue as this will impact on how you feel and how you react. Think of a phrase that you can say to yourself that makes you feel powerful and strong, ‘I am powerful and strong’ should do it!
7. If you feel confident enough, give the bully some feedback. Let them know how their actions towards you are making you feel and, therefore, how this is impacting on your performance and results.

Helen Isacke, Executive Coach, Crown Coaching, UK.

Additional reading in the eBook:

• Are You a Bully? Are You Sure You Aren’t?
• Wrongfully Accused of Bullying
• The Ethics of Influence: Five Rules to Live By

* Workplace Bullying Institute 2014 US Bullying Survey. (more info)

Getting Fair Recognition

“Even if we have influence, something else holds us back. Men tend to be better at saying what they’re good at…” Anj Handa, Director, People Help People, Leeds, UK

I have no evidence to confirm this sentiment, but experience tells me that I wouldn’t be in the least surprised if women are slightly less willing to promote themselves. Abhorrence of self-promotion is not restricted to women. Many men don’t want to be seen as boasting, bragging or otherwise exaggerating their skills and achievements. The view of the world as a meritocracy is persistent, if a little naïve.

The dilemma is that with so many other people shouting about their achievements and saying, ‘hey, look at me,’ what space is left for the quieter, more reserved individuals? In reality, what happens is that their achievements are often overlooked or not recognised for their true value. And, sadly, far too many people allow their distaste for self-promotion to exacerbate the problem.

To make some progress on this:

• Reflect on Your Mindset. Holding on to a belief that self-promotion should not be necessary, or that it is a hindrance, is not going to help you. Better would be to move up a gear and adopt the belief that self-promotion is a prudent and essential activity. You might want to hang on to the belief that bragging and boasting is odious — you don’t have to do those things to gain fair recognition.
• Clarify Your Strengths. As Charlotte mentioned earlier (in Boosting Self-Confidence), some women lack clarity on what they are really good at. Try to fathom what your stand-out strengths are by way of skills, experience or knowledge. Make sure to ask others too. They may be able to see things about you that you can’t or, simply express it in different ways.
• Attune to Your Environment. By this I mean translate your strengths into terms and benefits recognisable and valuable to those around you. For example, your colleagues may not be interested in your high level of emotional intelligence, but they may bite your hand off if you can help them to engage with their clients/customers.
• Develop a Strategy. At its fullest extent, this would entail building a PR campaign. At the least, make sure you have a plan of how you are going to promote your talents and strengths within your realm. And make sure to find ways to do this with integrity — sometimes this is as simple as subtly promoting yourself by promoting the successes of your team (using the Stakeholder Influence Process might be a great way of doing this).

And a closing thought for you — I don’t believe that successful self-promotion is about being better than others, it is more about letting your real qualities and strengths shine through for the benefit of all. Don’t let them miss this opportunity.

Responses:

“It’s easy to fall into the trap of being ‘a helper’, volunteering for numerous projects and becoming the person who always says ‘yes’ to additional responsibilities in order to help save the day. Ask yourself whether the work you’re doing will be acknowledged and noticed by the right people and whether it will have a measurable business impact.  If you have career development aspirations which are not being fulfilled, it’s vital that you are strategic in your decision making when it comes to the work you put yourself forward for; being helpful, whilst challenging yourself in ways that will make a difference to the business and your personal career trajectory.”

Penny de Valk, Managing Director, Penna Talent Practice, London, UK

“Even if we have influence, something else holds us back. Men tend to be better at saying what they’re good at and reaching for opportunities, even if they don’t exactly fit the bill. Women tend to be less willing to shout about their skills. I wouldn’t call it modesty, as such. It’s something entrenched in our psyche and doesn’t sit comfortably with most women — it feels like bragging.”

Anj Handa, Director, People Help People, Leeds, UK

Additional reading in the eBook:

• Developing Your Personal Brand
• A Simple Approach to Personal Branding
• Personal Brand Word Examples
• Exercise: Boosting Your Personal Brand
• Stakeholder Influence Process Introduction

Developing a Positive Mindset

As you may have gathered by now, I’m an ardent fan of being positive. In this programme I have been sharing insights into some of the challenges women (and men) face when it comes to influence, and also some of the differences between the genders. Many of the articles have begun with an apparent problem and, I hope, ended with some practical things which you can do. I’d like to make this a little different.

Consider for a moment, a belief which you may hold…

“Being a woman provides distinct advantages when it comes to being influential.”

Even if you do not currently subscribe to this belief, imagine for a moment that it is true. Taking it a step further, imagine you have to negotiate and win others over to believing this…

• How would you make the case to substantiate this belief?
• What particular capabilities would support this belief?
• What examples can you cite?
• What is it about women that makes this true?

Influence research is conclusive that the act of debating for a particular belief has a profound effect on the individual making the case; the belief becomes much stronger in their mind, even if at the start they didn’t actually believe it. You don’t have to have someone to debate with, you can do it in your own mind. Reflecting on the evidence to support this belief in the odd quiet moments during the day will reinforce it.

And here’s another point, as you pay more attention to the advantages you possess when it comes to being influential, you will start to notice more examples and evidence that back it up. A virtuous circle will be formed and the stronger it gets, the more positive you will become.Here’s another question. If you do believe that being a woman has distinct advantages when it comes to being influential, how will this help you? Pause for a moment and reflect on the benefits that it would bring to you and your work if you adopt and boost this belief in your mind.

You can choose your mindset. Turning your choice into a deeply held belief is then just a question of consistent focus.

Responses:

“When it comes to attitude, it is vitally important that you consider the impact your attitude has on others. Think about how other people’s attitudes affect you and then notice how others are reacting to your attitude.”

Jean Greenaway, Director, UK

Additional reading in the eBook:

• Developing a Positive Influencing Attitude.
• Why You Fail to Influence.
• The Psychological Path of an Influencing Goal.

Behaving Like a Man

Since beginning to research and write this programme, I have been troubled with how to tackle this particular topic in the knowledge that no series about women and influence would be complete without considering it. While some of the points I am going to make here may be provocative, I hope that at the end you will see that there is an extremely positive angle as you seek to become more influential.

For a long time I have been aware that some women take the decision to adopt behaviours more likely to be associated with men in order to become more successful. Those who do this risk alienating their female colleagues. Feedback during workshops often demonstrates strong negative reactions to women who do this, from both men and women.

Step back a moment…

“Philosopher Sandra Lee Bartky once observed that being feminine often means using one’s body to portray powerlessness.” Lisa Wade, PhD*

When you read the article (see link below) you will notice that Lisa makes the point that the behaviours associated with femininity are not so much about gender, but about deference and men can exhibit deference too.

Deference (‘polite submission and respect’, OED) requires a personal decision that the other party is more powerful, at least in the situation playing out. That doesn’t mean that the deferrer is powerless, simply that in the given situation they have ceded to the other party.

In some cultures and societies, women appear to be more deferential than men, at least in public, while men are more assertive and aggressive, at least in public. My earlier article looking at Influencing Styles and Women, and the differences between men and women back this up.  It is also interesting to note that my data recognises no significant difference in levels of determination between men and women; it is just that typically, men and women go about it in different ways.While it is impossible to say why the decision to cede was made, one of the contributors is likely to be the behaviour of the other party. And that behaviour is almost bound to be more assertive, aggressive and dominating — behaviours generally associated with men.

It seems to me that:

• Problems begin to arise when people (men and women) behave at odds with the culturally expected norms.
• Both men and women possess equal amounts of determination, although generally express it in different ways.
• Neutralising the issue towards the balance between deference and assertion is likely to be positive and useful.
• Making personal decisions based on the situation at hand is the right way to go.
• It’s a choice that you can make.

I’ll come back to the actual behaviours behind this in another article, but I wanted to leave you with one thought and it’s a personal one. Women seem to be more naturally sensitive, and the adoption of more assertive behaviours is not too difficult once they have made a decision. It is much harder for men to adopt more sensitive behaviours if they are not naturally inclined that way. Personally, I think this gives women a natural opportunity to become more influential if they turn on the assertion a little more. What do you think?

Responses:

“Just had an opportunity to read this and feel you have handled the subject matter well.  I can foresee quite a bit of feedback about this article!For me I have found that femininity is my key advantage in a male environment.  Rather than adopt bullish behaviour to match the chaps (as I started to when first significantly placed in a managerial role) I have found that the gentle, more sensitive approach has allowed me greater power and influence — while allowing me to be completely congruent at work and home.  There are risks attached but, as you said, when this is mixed with a positive and active level of assertiveness it is quite something for men to contend with!”

Maureen Atkins, Executive Coach, UK.

Additional reading in the eBook:

• Gender and the Body Language of Power, Lisa Wade, PhD, co-author of Gender, Ideas, Interactions, Institutions. New York, W. W. Norton & Co.
• Influencing Styles and Women
• Women, Men and Personal Power

Competition and Collaboration

Are women more collaborative — men more competitive?

The research that I have looked at seems to agree with this, however, it is far from conclusive. In one experiment, 73% of men chose to compete compared with 35% of women (Niederle and Vesterland 2007). Even when competence was comparable, women still demonstrated a 38% lower probability of choosing to compete than men. Other researchers have failed to replicate these results.

Kuhn and Villeval (2013) considered this from the other angle — women’s preference for cooperation. “In most of our experimental treatments, women are more likely than men to enter team-based environments.” Again, there is plenty of conflicting evidence.

So the jury is out, although there does seem to be a number of themes running through these papers regarding the factors affecting women’s choice:

• Culturally accepted norms. How will others judge their behaviour?
• Personal disposition. Some people are naturally more competitive.
• Self-perception of performance levels. Leading to levels of self-confidence.
• Probability assessment. Will it be possible to win?
• Value. Is it worth it?

Consequently, women may be less inclined to compete in environments where it is unusual for women to behave that way or where they believe they are unlikely to succeed. That does not mean the ambition or competitive spirit is absent, rather that they will choose to pursue their goals in different ways (perhaps by vigorous collaboration or subtle political manoeuvring).

“In our society, they’re smart and able enough to see that they’re unlikely to win. And who in their right mind would enter a contest in the belief that they’ll lose?” Margaret Heffernan.

By and large, the decision to compete or collaborate will be taken subconsciously and will be based on the accumulated experience of the best approach to take. Rarely will they be considered objectively on a case-by-case basis. Developing a more deliberate approach will aid anyone (male or female) wishing to become more influential.

A Few Points to Ponder

1. In what situations are you currently competing?
2. Why are you competing rather than collaborating?
3. What would happen if you chose to collaborate instead of compete?
4. In what situations are you currently collaborating?
5. Why?
6. What would happen if you chose to compete instead?
7. If you choose not to compete, how do you further your goals?
8. How does your organisation and how do your colleagues react to competitive behaviour?
9. Have you got the balance right between collaboration and cooperation?
10. How can you increase your level of competition without losing your sense of self and integrity?

Some of you may be reading this thinking that collaboration is always the best route. Perhaps you have found that it works well for you and hence you are totally sold on it. That is your choice, but can it always be right? If you are interested in exploring this aspect further, take a look at a previous series of articles I wrote: Adjusting Political Temperature in Your Team.

I am sure the reference above to political manoeuvring did not go unnoticed. I will pick this up in another article in this series because there do seem to be differences in the way men and women approach the political world of work.

Responses:

“I’d suspect that many work environments are really power plays meaning that you need to be very clear what areas you are going to focus on to influence things/people. So a strong focus on what you want to achieve and who can really help you and whether they are open to influence is important.”

[withheld], Chief Officer (male), Hong Kong

“Whoa…this one sure struck a chord!  When I was in DIY store management the blokes never took me seriously as it was a ‘man’s world’ and it was deemed that I was no competition at all.  I am highly competitive as a person but recognised I had severe limitations in trying to win the war of turnover on my own.I focussed instead on the strong individual relationships that I had and I called a meeting with all those folks.  I explained to them that the heat from head office was on and that we had the chance to shine, but that not one of us could do it alone.  We all felt hugely in need of winning the week with the highest sales figures in the country (part of a 114 store chain!) but we accepted it had to be a team effort.Each one of those individuals I had met with went and briefed their sales team and we worked liked Trojans that week.  On the Saturday with sales figures due to be reported by 6pm we were still trailing our nearest competitor.  Another short briefing took place and we rallied once more for an all stops out finish.You can imagine the dismay at Head Office when they had to admit that their only female store manager had cleaned up all the competition that week — but the reality was the relationships that underpinned the work were robust and influential.This proved to me that I had what it takes to inspire and collaborate with a group of competitive individuals to achieve an amazing result, without needing to take all the glory.”

Maureen Atkins, Executive Coach, UK.

Additional references

• • Do Women Shy Away from Competition? Do Men Compete Too Much? Niederle, M., Vesterland, L., Quarterly Journal of Economics (2007) 122 (3).
  • Are Women More Attracted to Cooperation than Men? Kuhn, P., Villeval, MC., National Bureau of Economic Research, 2013.
  • Are Men Really More Competitive than Women? Margaret Heffernan, Huffington Post, 2014.

Women and Organisational Politics

Over the years I have persistently been asked about the differences between men and women when it comes to politics in the workplace. Because I work with people to focus on the specifics of their own situation rather than theorise about general principles, I have not collected any hard evidence related to the differences between men and women when it comes to political activity.

However, having worked in this area for over ten years, I do have some views to share which may help you to unravel this in your own mind. From what I have seen and heard I believe that, in general, women differ from men in five key areas when it comes to playing politics at work.

These appear to be most prevalent at middle management levels. They all relate to political behaviour and responding to political acts. There are also differences in the way men and women pursue and use power and I’ll cover that in a later article.

As you read these, please think carefully about them based on your own experience, temperament and current situation. Remember that the purpose of this article is to help you to become more influential, so you will benefit more if you internalise these ideas and apply them to your world.

1. Taking it personally. Women seem to treat political moves by others as a threat (or affront) to them as a person rather than as a job holder. Men seem to be a little more objective and less emotionally connected to the behaviour. The benefit of this is that women can be far more motivated and passionate campaigners.
2. Overthinking situations. Looking round corners and imagining umpteen alternative motives seems to come naturally to women. Men are far more likely to take things at face value. There is benefit here too, because it potentially gives women a far more sophisticated range of alternatives and options.
3. Deeper intuition. Moving beyond the obvious clues and indicators, women seem to have a much keener sense of what is not being said and ability to peer into how people are feeling. Although they might be imagining things which aren’t there, again it potentially allows them to fathom deeper motivations and agendas.
4. Subtle politics. Women seem to be less inclined to have public confrontations (with some very notable exceptions), preferring to play a more subtle form of politics. Instead of hitting political opponents head-on, they seem to be more likely to resort to quiet conversations, subtle messaging and manoeuvring support into place.
5. Time delays. Because of the points above, there is a risk that women may spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about the politics, motivations and agendas. Although it is vitally important to think carefully about what is going on, people need to move to action quickly too.

There are benefits and drawbacks to each of the points above. Political success is found by applying these in the right proportions — and this applies to men as well as to women. Overall I believe that women are more naturally equipped to be able to manage the politics than men — although the opposite may be true when it comes to power, but I’ll leave that to another article!

Additional reading in the eBook:

• Dirty Tricks and Office Politics
• Political Dilemmas at Work
• Exercise: Understanding the Politics at Work
• How to Map the Politics around Your Work
• How to Manage the Politics

Bullying: Prevention and Cure?

According to recent research by the Workplace Bullying Institute, women are 50% more likely to be the victim of bullying at work than men. Despite the growing awareness of this problem, they estimate that around 5.76 million US women are, or have recently been, subjected to serious bullying at work. They have also found that 27% of people are or have experienced bullying in the past. Is this likely to be any different elsewhere in the world? I doubt it.

In an earlier article in this series (Women and Bullying), I promised to return to this subject to share more detail about how you can develop your awareness and skill so that you can reduce the possibility of becoming a victim. In addition, in this article I hope to be able to offer some help to anyone who is currently suffering at the hands of a bully.

I do not pretend to be an expert in the legal aspects of bullying, nor counselling. If that’s what you need, the links below will help. However, I do know quite a bit about helping people to become more powerful and influential.

Bullying is only possible because someone notices an imbalance of perceived power and decides to take advantage of the situation. Perceived because the bully may incorrectly believe they have more power than they actually have and, more commonly, the victim believes they have far less power than they actually have.

On this basis, if you want to prevent bullying from occurring in your career, you need to strive to:

• Build awareness. Invest some time now in making sure that you are well-informed about this topic. If it hasn’t happened to you already, that’s great — but don’t be complacent. Ensure you know what it is and why it happens.
• Build personal power. There is no doubt in my mind that the more personally powerful you are as an individual, the less likely it is that someone will attempt to take advantage of the imbalance in power. You cannot always be the most powerful person around however, you should make sure you are continually working on building your power and influence.
• Monitor behaviour. Don’t become paranoid and find trouble where it doesn’t exist, but do stay alert for the potential. Make sure to look out for bullying (overly assertive) behaviours in Are You a Bully? If too many of these are coming from the same source, you need to act fast.
• Build assertive skills. One way to respond to bullying problems is to get someone else to intervene for you. Sometimes this is necessary, however far more effective (and gratifying) is to have developed your power and your assertive skills so that you can take the required action. Don’t wait for a problem to arise before you focus on this skill in your personal development plan. There is almost a 1 in 3 chance it will happen to you some day.
• Take early action. Nip it in the bud. Don’t act too early — make sure that a problem is brewing. Then take swift action to make sure the potential bully gets the measure of your personal power and capability. Not in a threatening or adversarial way, but in a very firm way.

Building self-confidence is also essential because it will provide a great deal of courage to be able to take the necessary action if a situation needs to be dealt with. If you are diligent on each of the points above, self-confidence will not be a problem for you.

If you are currently being bullied, all of the above is still relevant however, time is of the essence; the longer you wait, the worse it will get. Here are some additional suggestions to add to the extensive online research you should be doing…

1. Get help and support. Don’t do this on your own. You may end up being the one who takes the action to remedy the situation, but before that you would be well advised to build a base of support and get lots of guidance before you act.
2. Learn as much as you can. Read extensively about the topic and also focus on analysing exactly what is happening in your situation. You need to do your best to be objective. It is not easy to put your emotions to one side so you can analyse the situation and that is another good reason to get some support.
3. Check the legal position. Make sure you understand your position from a legal and policy position. Knowing exactly how your company deals with these situations can increase your confidence and guide your decisions. You don’t have to make use of them, but it is wise to know what they could do for you.
4. Define outcomes. What exactly do you want to happen in the end? While vengeance may be understandable, more fruitful might be to be able to re-establish a healthy working relationship.
5. Make a clear decision. You don’t have to take action, you could just walk away. That is your choice and you’re responsible whatever you decide to do. Don’t idle and hope it goes away though — that’s unlikely to happen. Most bullying scenarios continue to get worse until action is taken or someone breaks.
6. Boost your confidence. Do everything you can to lift your levels of self-confidence so that you can empower yourself to take the action you decide on. Your support network can help here too. If you’re planning to tackle your bully directly, make sure your friends know what you are doing and can be there before and after the planned exchange.
7. Make a plan. Don’t just rush in and be all assertive and try to influence the individual to change. Get smart and build a strategy and a plan for dealing with the situation. This would include contingencies in case things don’t go the way you want them to  and perhaps escalation plans too.
8. Keep close to your friends. The risks and emotions will both be running high so maintaining your support network is vital. Again, they don’t necessarily need to be acting for you, but being ready and willing to give moral support when you need it may come in very useful.
9. Keep calm. Do whatever you can to retain your composure. If you lose control you are handing the advantage to the bully. They may well use this against you. If you are beginning to lose it, exit any meeting as fast as you can before they make things even worse for you. When you’ve found some calm again and thought it through, then you can decide what to do next.
10. Remain focused. As mentioned at the beginning, the cause of the problem is a power imbalance. To cure the problem you need to find ways to adjust the balance of power between you and the bully with regard to the situation/behaviours. You don’t need to become more powerful than them overall, but you do need them to realise that you have sufficient power to be able to bring unfavourable consequences onto them if they persist.

This article is the longest in this series (and the readings the most extensive) because I feel it is so important. So please, whatever your situation, make sure and read further on this topic and, if it helps, make sure to share this with someone else who needs it.

Finally, if you have not already done so, I’d certainly recommending joining the Positive Influence for Women and/or the Breakthrough Influence online course to learn more about influence.

Responses:

“When I’m coaching and the matter of personal confidence comes up, whether in response to an interview, presentation or tackling a difficult and threatening situation, I often ask people to consider what they can use to build personal and professional confidence? Professional knowledge and expertise always feature, but in managing a situation where you are risk of being bullied, personal inner confidence is just as important as professional knowledge. I ask those I’m working with to explore their feelings of inner confidence, the attributes that contribute to this and how this can be developed in order to feel more confident and powerful in tackling a difficult situation.Personal gravitas can be worn both outwardly and shine from within: feeling, acting, looking and walking the part is essential, as well as having the technical ability to get a job done.”

Pauline Owen, Executive Coach, UK

Additional references and reading in the eBook:

• Workplace Bullying Institute 2014 US Bullying Survey. (more info).
• StopBullying.Gov — Get Help Now.
• Bullying UK.
• National Centre Against Bullying.
• Exercise: What Personal Power You Have?
• Personal Power Word Examples
• Leaders: Bullies by Nature or Nurture?

From Minority to Majority

Being the outsider is a difficult influencing position. In Gender is Not the Problem, I made the observation that the challenge for women is largely caused by their minority status in the group they wish to be successful within, rather than the gender difference. Learning more about groups is essential if you are to be able to influence from a minority position or to become part of the majority.

Groups are one of the most fascinating features of organisations and can be extremely complicated. To unravel some of the complexity I am going to summarise some of the key concepts before making a few critical observations and challenging your thinking and approach. Along the way there will also be some clues about the easy mistakes you may be making which reinforce your minority status.

1. A group can be defined as a number of people bound together by something they have in common. The common feature may be as simple as reporting to the same person.
2. Individuals will always be a member of many different groups (Identifying Influential Groups gives plenty of examples of these first two points).
3. Groups bind when they recognise their common feature (and their fellow members) and thus build group identity.
4. All groups, regardless of their formality, will progress through various stages: latent, recognition, formation and mobilisation — read more about this in Power and Informal Groups. Informal groups may not reach the mobilisation stage.
5. Each group is likely to develop its own unique culture, norms and decision-making procedures (or in the case of informal groups, opinion-forming processes).
6. Groups work hard to protect and promote their identity (at least internally) and this includes decisions about membership and socialising new members.
7. Individuals in groups with a strong identity (and purpose) will unite to further (and protect) their shared interests.

There are many implications arising from these points, and those most pertinent to your challenge coming from a minority position are…

An individual’s behaviour will generally conform to the cultural norms of the group(s) they most closely identify with.

Although most people will be able to vary their behaviour to adapt to the group they are currently working with (perhaps in a meeting), the point here is that their preference and to an extent, their automatic behaviour, will be heavily influenced by the norms of their primary group.

Perceptions of identity may vary between those within the group and those outside looking in.

In the extreme, this may mean that the members of the group don’t even realise they are members of a group. Particularly with informal groups, the dividing lines may be very fine and this offers an opportunity to advance group formation — explored further in Power and Informal Groups.

There can be huge overlaps in group membership and many sub-divisions.

Perhaps the most obvious example is the group of senior managers with the sub-group of male senior managers. The sub-group may contain a very high proportion of the overall group.

Combined with the earlier point about behavioural conformity, a man who identifies more strongly with the male senior management sub-group than the overall senior management group may well behave quite differently towards his female colleagues.

Individuals may consciously exclude themselves from membership (or dis-associate).

While much emphasis is placed on the members and their thoughts, those outside of the group may be just as instrumental in creating identity for a multitude of reasons. For example, one woman I coached definitely did not want to be part of the male group of brokers disappearing down to the pub every afternoon. On a more strategic (or even Machiavellian) level, it may suit an individual’s purpose to group adversaries together in some way so that it is easier to muster the support of allies.

A few challenges to your thinking:

• How are the various formal and informal groups structured around you?
• What defines, or identifies, each group?
• Thinking of the key individuals you need to build greater influence with, which groups are they a member of and which do they most strongly identify with?
• How about you — which groups are you a member of and which do you strongly identify with?
• What is the membership criteria for groups you want to join or become a more prominent member within?
• How might you be able to become a member?
• What would it take to become an honorary member?
• Over time, are there any opportunities to realign individuals’ affinity?

The last point warrants a little example. If you are in a male-dominated senior management group, the chances are high that many of your colleagues will closely identify themselves with the male group. This association makes joining their group as a fully paid-up member impossible. However, if they were to more closely associate with being in the senior management group, you are already a fully paid-up member of that group. It may take some diligent and careful work over a period of months, but influencing this shift is certainly possible.

And that work may begin with yourself. To what extent are you reinforcing your minority status? For instance, when the group comes together for a meeting, if there is another woman, do you gravitate towards her? If you do, this is potentially highlighting the division. Or, have you ever passed comment about the testosterone levels in the room? Another way of highlighting your differences from the main group, and this one in particular, will fuel bravado and stimulate their competitiveness. Put another way, it will strengthen their identification with their membership of the male majority. And I have heard many more ribald comments from women that also reinforce this.

Additional reading in the eBook:

• Navigating Informal Group Dynamics
• Power and Informal Groups
• Identifying Influential Groups
• Political Analysis in Your Organisation

Body Language: Fit for Purpose?

As you cast around the internet you will find a great deal of information about this topic. In the related reading you’ll find a few links, including one to an article by Dr Carol Kinsey Goman (author of The Silent Language of Leaders) which catalogues the body language mistakes which women make. Personally, I dislike the notion that they are mistakes, however everyone needs to become more aware of the impact of their body language.

Body language needs to help rather than hinder the objectives which you have in mind and the group in which you want to achieve your objective. In the article, Dr Goman refers to mistakes such as:

• Too many head tilts — potentially indicating submission and uncertainty.
• Too much smiling — demonstrating desire to be liked.
• Too much nodding — signalling agreement, listening and empathy.
• Physically condensing — occupying less space and sheltering.

Make sure and have a full read of the article here – Ten Mistakes.

All of these may well be mistakes, but they can also be extremely useful in certain situations. Body language needs to be fit for purpose.

Perhaps the most important point in her article is that followers look for warmth and authority in their leaders. Warmth (empathy, likeability and care) and authority (power, credibility and status). What Dr Goman is pointing out, quite rightly in my opinion, is that the ‘mistakes’ are all warmth behaviours. Authority needs to be the opposite of all of these.

Leadership is a blend of these two characteristics. It is important (for both men and women) to recognise the body language which can indicate each and then make more conscious decisions about how to behave. For example, if you are heading into a meeting where it is important that you demonstrate your authority:

• Nod only when you agree, and then only once.
• Minimise smiling and look serious.
• Expand the physical space you occupy.
• Keep posture straight and don’t tilt your head.
• Harden your voice.
• Once complete, relax, smile and show a little warmth.

One of my male colleagues expressed the opinion that women need to realise that empathy does not equal influence. Empathy will certainly open up the lines of communication and build trust and relationships, however assertive authority is often needed to make things happen.

The final point to make on this topic is that somehow you need to develop your flexibility to feel genuinely comfortable exhibiting powerful behaviours. Pretending to be powerful and assertive may work for a while, but unless you feel powerful inside, and are comfortable using those behaviours, people (especially those with experience) will notice and you will fail to achieve the effect that you wanted. Developing your personal power is a great way of progressively becoming more assertive in a high-integrity way.

Responses:

• Become a keen observer of the behaviour of others who appear to be succeeding and working well within your organisation.
• Look to the most commonly displayed behaviours in your management team when power is needed and or used.
• Make sure your body language reflects a positive tone when you are engaging with people.
• Focus your conversation on successes, especially of those around you.
• Don’t pretend to be far more than you are — you have to feel comfortable in your own skin.

Pauline Owen, Executive Coach, UK

Additional references and reading in the eBook:

• Ten Body Language Mistakes Women Leaders Make.
• GENDER AND THE BODY LANGUAGE OF POWER, Lisa Wade, PhD, co-author of Gender: Ideas, Interactions, Institutions.  New York: W.W. Norton & Co.
• Are You Sitting Comfortably?

Making an Impression

There have been plenty of articles in this series which challenge the behaviours women tend to adopt in the workplace. Without doubt, men and women vary in their general approach to building relationships and influencing their colleagues. However, all of this is optional and, given sufficient awareness and foresight, can easily be adapted to suit the situation.

In this article I’d like to challenge you to think about the impression you want to create. Every time you come into contact with someone else (even by email) you are making an impression — but is it the one which will maximise your progress towards your goals?

If you can design a distinct impression (or brand), which if made will have a significant and positive impact on your progress, you will be much more likely to live that brand and make a strong impression. The alternative is sending out often mixed impressions and defaulting to your instinctive behaviours.

It takes a lot of work and thinking to put this into practice, but the rewards can be huge. Here is a simple process to get you moving in the right direction. The related readings will take you much deeper if you need more information.

1. Reflect on your goals. Consider your work, career and personal goals and summarise the key things you would like to achieve in each area.
2. Focus on your audience. Which group(s) of people is it most important for you to develop a distinct impression with?
3. Brainstorm impressions. Now get creative and, based on your goals and the groups you want to impress, what sort of things would you like to hear them saying about you after meeting you, or seeing you present?
4. Shortlist impressions. Which ideas from your brainstorm will be most likely to accelerate you towards your goals?
5. Craft brand words. Try to simplify the impression which would optimise your progress into three or four key words that can provide the focus for your personal branding going forward.
6. Keep these words prominent. Don’t share them with others, but make sure you remind yourself of these whenever you are going to a meeting, sending an email or writing a report. Act, behave and write to live up to these words.
7. Become relentless. Review progress on a regular basis. Make sure to score yourself and find new ways you can increase the likelihood that others in your target group will get these impressions from what you do.

It is interesting that when I am coaching people on this topic one of the reasons why it is required is that my client needs to find a way to distinguish themselves in the crowd. Appearing just like everyone else doesn’t allow you to become a leader. As a woman in a male-dominated environment you already have a head start on this.

Now, what can you do to refine your impression and make it count?

Additional reading in the eBook:

• How to Build Your Reputation
• Exercise: Creating Your Personal Brand

Making Changes, Making Progress

This is the penultimate article in this series. Its purpose is to help you to review what you have been reading, thinking and then challenge you with a so what?

Some of the key points covered during the series are:

• Women tend to adopt different styles when it comes to influence, yet can adapt just as easily as men (given sufficient self-awareness).
• Many of the challenges with influence appear to be due to minority status rather than gender.
• Attitude makes a huge difference, “if you think you’ve got a problem or that you haven’t, you’re probably right”.
• Women are more likely to be subjected to bullying and need to be especially prepared to be able to deal with this effectively and early.
• There are clear differences between the genders regarding the use of power.

To review your reflections in a little more detail…

1. What have been the most significant points covered for you?
2. Which ideas covered do you disagree with?
3. How does the material covered here relate to your position and the work you do?
4. Who can you learn from or use as a role model?
5. What changes could you make to the way you operate/behave?
6. What changes will you make?
7. How can you make sure you embed these changes?
8. How will you know you are succeeding, how can you measure your progress?

As you can imagine, I have been doing a great deal of learning during the process of writing this series of articles. At the beginning I knew a lot about influence and, if I’m honest, stepped into this project with a certain amount of trepidation. Yet as the articles began to flow, I grew into a new understanding of (and empathy for) the challenges facing many women in the workplace. In the final article in this series I will share candidly with you what I believe women should be doing, and not doing, if they wish to be more influential.