Have you ever stopped to wonder about the extent to which you may be boring those around you?
The clues will be there. You may have that nagging feeling at the back of your mind. Are you brave enough to explore it now, just between you and me?
Here are two big clues.
Firstly, have you done any work on personal branding? You may have been on one of my workshops, or completed the development guide, Developing Your Personal Brand. If not, pause right now and think of three words that you would like those around you to have in their mind when they think about you. Usually this is orientated towards work, but have some fun and do this in a social context too.
What words have you come up with?
Trustworthy, reliable, professional, integrity, knowledgeable and expert are all very common words which arise in workshops. Brilliant, they are good words, but guess what, they are not what personal brands are all about because they are boring. There I said it. If you came up with words like that there is a high likelihood that you are boring people around you.
Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with these words. In fact, it is absolutely right that you should be all of these things in huge volume. The trouble is that by focusing too much on these you will dampen down the interest levels. Imagine the difference when someone is vivacious, engaging and fascinating — as well as being dependable (yeah I know, that’s four words).
The Gautrey Influence Blog
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Next clue, your Influence Profile. Have you done one yet? If you have, there is one particular report which is a big clue to the level of boredom you are sending out. If you have Style 25 (you’ll see the reference way down at the bottom below your scores) you will probably remember a key word in the report — bland. Although a rather lame word, it usually hits hard when people read it about themselves.
A quick explanation for those who haven’t got a report so far. The profile calibrates your behaviour on four dimensions and is looking for the way you balance your style. Style 25 is the report that explains someone who prefers almost perfect balance. Consequently, if they behave like that all the time, they are neither one thing nor the other.
Note: Make sure and take a look at How to Develop Your Influencing Style and The Influence Profile.
Other clues you may be noticing include obvious things like people looking bored while you are talking, not getting invited to meetings, not being asked for input, etc. Remember of course, clues don’t necessarily mean that you are boring, they may just have had a late night! However, if there is a trend emerging, should you care? After all, work is about being professional and reliable isn’t it?
Yes it is, but that is not generally enough. The problem is that if you are boring people, they will be less likely to engage with you, consider you for promotion, invite you to parties and care about you. The workplace is a competitive environment. Interesting people stand out, get noticed, and get more opportunities for advancement.
They also happen to have higher levels of intelligence about what is actually going on in the organisation, have more contacts to support them and generally seem to be having a great deal more fun while still being highly productive.
- On a scale of 0-10, how boring do you think you are?
- Does this vary with different groups?
- Why have you given yourself that score?
- What impact does this have on you and your work?
- Do you want to do something about it? Why?
Rest assured you don’t have to become more interesting to become successful, although it may take you a little longer. Boring is a relative term too. What is boring to one may be fascinating to another. So, don’t be too hard on yourself. Just think of this as a review and an opportunity.
And please, if I am boring you, be kind and let me know. Even better, please feel free to make suggestions on how I can improve (email me here). Except, don’t tell me I’m boring because I keep writing about influence. That isn’t going to change any time soon. If that is what you find boring about me, step up your interest in the subject or clear off!
The Gautrey Influence Blog
Ever felt overlooked, unheard, or stuck in office politics? You’re not alone. The Gautrey Influence Blog breaks down the real-world strategies behind leadership, influence, and power—giving you the tools to be heard, respected, and successful. Join 35,000+ professionals getting ahead the smart way—subscribe now..
💡 Benchmark your Influence: Take the Master of Influence Assessment (Free for Subscribers!)
👉 [Subscribe & Take the Assessment]