For a number of reasons I do not accept public comments on my blog. It is not because I don’t want to hear from you — I definitely want to engage with you as you are growing in influence.
Here is one example which I am sharing with you exactly as it happened (no editing). Apart from a good example of engagement, it is also a fascinating real-life tale of organisational life.
This email arrived from someone I have engaged with over a number of years, hence the rather embarrassing (to me) opener! The exchange tells a tale of how, in her organisation, patterns of power have been established and also talks about the inherent dangers for the unwary. Simply upsetting the status quo needs to be carefully thought through.
| Hi Mr Influence! I hope you are well and wondered if you can help with a conundrum!In my new role, I have noted that our senior heads of business (there are 4, one per site) and the overall Managing Director all have particular seats that they like to sit in whenever they have a meeting together. Although the location may change, they all still like their ‘own’ seat.I nearly fried their circuits as a ‘newbie’ by coming in and sitting on one of their seats, as they had to change!
Thinking about in meetings and seating positions of power and influence — I wondered if you could shed any light on why they do this (apart from security) but also where you should sit in a meeting to best influence people — especially as a female in a male-dominated team! Very puzzling! Thank you |
| Hi [name], this is such a fascinating example of group psychology.I think it goes beyond security. It is likely to be a representation of the pecking order. They must’ve been working together a while and have settled into a power structure. Generally I understand that the most powerful physical position on a rectangle table is at the head. That maximises visibility and perception of occupied space. Sitting in the middle of the long side means those to right and left a few places away cannot see the person sitting in the middle. Did that make sense? Round table foxes all that!
Then there is also sitting with back to a window. This gives the advantage of hiding the individual’s expressions which can give advantage as that person can more easily see those facing them/the window, because the light is shining on their faces. Visualise Gestapo interrogation! Another factor is the actual physical space occupied at the table. The most powerful may well also consume the most space, spreading out their notes, accessories etc. to demonstrate territory. Although I don’t know for sure, I would not be surprised if the person sitting to the right of the most powerful person is the second most powerful person — his right hand man. Other meeting clues about the power structure can come from eye contact. Who gets the most attention, second most, etc? When a controversial point is made, who does everyone look at to gauge their reaction? The bottom line is that by disturbing their pattern you will unsettle things. This is to be done carefully, or even not at all. Why should it change just because you are unfamiliar or uncomfortable with their status quo? Does it work for them or does it genuinely hinder their performance? And, what do they think about it? Certainly, tread carefully young lady! Are they all men too? |
| Hello — I laughed out loud at this — you hit the nail on the head! The Managing Director sits with his back to the window. Yes, the right hand man sits to the right. The newest member of the team sits at the top, I think because the others avoided it. And the rest sit in middle positions….how funny — all male! Do you have the winning lottery numbers too? |
Here are some questions for you to reflect on as this may relate to your organisation:
- What meetings do you attend which have unspoken rituals, etiquette or rules?
- What happens when someone contravenes one of these norms?
- Who benefits from them?
- How do you respond to them?
- Do they help or hinder the actual performance of the meeting?
The Gautrey Influence Blog
Ever felt overlooked, unheard, or stuck in office politics? You’re not alone. The Gautrey Influence Blog breaks down the real-world strategies behind leadership, influence, and power—giving you the tools to be heard, respected, and successful. Join 35,000+ professionals getting ahead the smart way—subscribe now..
💡 Benchmark your Influence: Take the Master of Influence Assessment (Free for Subscribers!)
👉 [Subscribe & Take the Assessment]
