If you are coaching someone to be more effective at influencing, the chances are very high that a major contributor to their current performance will be their attitude towards influencing.
Typical troublesome attitudes I have encountered include:
- “I don’t do politics.”
- “You’re trying to get me to manipulate others.”
- “Doing a good job should be enough to get on.”
- “I don’t have time for these games.”
- “I don’t believe in manipulating people.”
- “I’m a straight dealing person and I like to speak my mind.”
- “I don’t like blowing my own trumpet.”
It is wrong to challenge the legitimacy of these attitudes, especially as a coach. These attitudes have been formed in the mind of your client (or even their soul) for very good reasons. At some point in time, these became strong values* because they were right and useful to the individual. Perhaps these values saved them from harm or allowed them to focus on building their competence. For whatever reason, the individual you are working with found these values useful.
*Generally in my work, I find little practical utility in distinguishing between attitudes, values and beliefs.
In my experience, none of these attitudes helps someone to become a highly effective influencer. As a coach, I need to help them to re-evaluate their attitudes and explore alternatives which don’t threaten their sense of integrity, or higher-order values, such as honesty.
I don’t do politics
Most people you meet who express this attitude (and the others on the list) will have an exaggerated and unhelpful view of the alternative. “I don’t do politics” is often hiding a stronger belief that people who engage in political activity “are odious, manipulative, self-serving characters who suck the life-blood out of organisational culture.”
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That may be true (in the extreme). However, the reality is that there are an awful lot of well-meaning people doing good things for the organisation by engaging in appropriate political activity. By holding on to this attitude, the individual you are working with will find a great many of the ideas about influence abhorrent.
There is usually some bitter experience behind this particular attitude. It may be that they have in the past attempted to engage in the politics and failed miserably. Perhaps they were completely out-manoeuvred, embarrassed, or even lost their job because of the actions of a more accomplished adversary. The value of “I don’t do politics” keeps them out of harm’s way. As you help them to become more influential, does this still work for them? Will it make them too hesitant and lack the confidence to do what needs to be done?
Re-interpreting meaning
As you help you client explore their attitudes, make sure to probe deeper into the meaning of their words. Many times, I have helped people to adjust their attitudes quickly simply by helping them to re-interpret what they mean.
For instance, what do they mean by the word politics? If you get the dictionary out you are unlikely to find anything particularly negative in the literal definition. Personal perceptions of experiences warp individual definitions. Those who have seen people abusing their position, have felt slighted or harmed by office politicians, will naturally acquire a negative definition of the word politics.
What is the definition of the word influence? This word has usually acquired a more positive feeling. In reality, the actual actions which comprise politics and influence show very little difference — two sides of the same coin perhaps? If people don’t do politics, are they more comfortable doing influence instead?
My personal belief is that the difference between the two words is the degree to which an observer (or victim) notices a self-serving agenda and feels they are being disadvantaged.
Re-evaluating attitudes
Fundamentally, what needs to happen is:
- The potentially limiting attitudes needs to be highlighted.
- The client needs to be motivated to explore the attitude.
- Alternatives need to be considered, along with potential conflicts with other values.
- The client needs to make a conscious decision to modify or replace the attitude (if appropriate after due consideration).
- They need to become motivated and committed to living true to the new/modified value.
- Progress needs to be monitored, and further adjustments made if necessary.
You don’t need me to tell you this is heavy work. I’m sure you’ve already worked with your client’s attitudes and have probably found alternatives to the process above. That’s great, do what works for you.
However, you must do something. If you notice one of these attitudes and leave it, it will come back to hinder the emergence of your client as an influencer. There is no doubt in my mind that these need to be tackled at the earliest opportunity.
Either before, during or after a session with your client where attitudes are discussed, share a link to one or more of the articles below, all of which are currently freely available on the blog.
The Gautrey Influence Blog
Ever felt overlooked, unheard, or stuck in office politics? You’re not alone. The Gautrey Influence Blog breaks down the real-world strategies behind leadership, influence, and power—giving you the tools to be heard, respected, and successful. Join 35,000+ professionals getting ahead the smart way—subscribe now..
💡 Benchmark your Influence: Take the Master of Influence Assessment (Free for Subscribers!)
👉 [Subscribe & Take the Assessment]