When you are new to working with influencing styles, many challenges can head your way from the client. In this article, I will share and explore some of my experiences, and a few hard lessons, which will help you to maximise the value you bring to your client. The first one explains what I often refer to as development indigestion.

It isn't me, but who am I?

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If you approach someone with the aim of influencing them to do something, your influencing style makes a major contribution to how effective your communication will be. If you use a style that is different from the person you are aiming to influence, they may become distracted by that difference. And, if that happens, your potential to influence plummets. Instead of listening to what you have to say, they will be wondering why on earth you behave like that. Coaching people to make more effective use of influencing styles brings massive benefits. It can quite literally transform their key stakeholder relationships. It doesn't need to take long to achieve this either. If you follow the process I outline below, it is likely that your clients will be able to adapt their behaviour as a result of a single coaching session. Read More

A great deal has been said over the years about demonstrating the value of coaching, and rightly so. When coaching first began to become recognised as a legitimate development option, it was generally a loose arrangement providing a senior manager with an informal opportunity to work on their performance. As the profession of coaching developed, and the investment grew, budget holders needed a way of controlling and measuring what was happening. Entirely reasonable. However, one of the challenges this presents is that it risks transferring accountability for performance from the client to the coach. This can have serious consequences for the actual result, especially when it comes to sustainability. When I began training coaches in the mid-1990s, I often used to refer to coaching as the most Read More

This is another of those traps which are so easy to fall into, particularly because you want to help so much. When you do fall into this, getting out again is rather difficult. It is not peculiar to influence coaching, however, there is something about this topic that makes it more likely. Influence Coaching Trap #2 is: Read More

Another great way of working with clients is by using the Stakeholder Influence Process. This is one of the key processes which people can use to become more influential. It is something that is easy to learn and will provide you with a clear structure to help your client, and they can keep using it on all of their influencing goals. In this article, I’m going to share some quick thoughts about using the process, and then give you a list of articles that will help you to get quickly to grips with the process. These articles are also really useful to give to your clients ahead of a coaching session. Firstly, take a look at the Read More

Quite often, potential clients arrive knowing that they need to improve their influencing skills. When I ask them to elaborate, they soon begin to struggle to explain with any degree of clarity. Quite understandably, they do not know enough about the subject of influence to be able to explain their need or what they would like to be better at. Influencing skill is a very broad term. With experience, you will quickly learn to ask the right questions to get to the bottom of exactly what needs to happen. Common questions that I use during this stage include: Read More

You cannot become a good leader until you have learnt how to manage the day job.

  Trying to be a leader when you are struggling to manage your deadlines, complete your projects, and deal with conflict, just doesn't work. Regardless of the amount of leadership training that you have had, or books that you have read, it is likely to be a waste of time until you have become proficient in the day job. Perhaps you have been on your organisation's Leadership Development Programme. I have no doubt that it put forward some magnificent content and you left feeling pumped up and ready to go — destined for great leadership, and perhaps a little fame. How long before reality slammed the leadership book shut again? Few leadership positions come Read More

Scary as this may sound, it is relatively easy to avoid if you are aware of the risk and take a few simple precautions. It is also possible to take steps to protect yourself if the worst does happen.Unlike many forms of coaching, this particular danger awaits the unwary. It is extremely easy to fall into. It may not get as extreme as being sued, but it easily could do.

Influence Coaching Trap #1:

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It is some time since I last wrote specifically about power here. The topic has not gone away, far from it. Power remains a central part of the way I look at the world, and how I help people with integrity to influence more effectively. Regardless of what you are trying to achieve when you're working with others, power is an undercurrent in your relationships. If you are a leader, leaders need to be powerful in order to get things done. If you are a follower, you need to be powerful to achieve your goals. If you are outside of the working environment, you need to be powerful in order to get your needs met. Over the last year, I have invested a considerable amount of time researching and re-thinking the whole subject of power, looking for a way to open out this topic and make it more practical. To begin the process of sharing the output from this, here are a number of provocative thoughts about power, which I hope will make you stop and think. Some will appear obvious yet oft forgotten while others will be more of a puzzle. Without doubt, some will challenge your values, in which case, look  Read More