• Lack of confidence, when noticed by others, creates wariness - "Why is this person lacking confidence, do they not believe what they are saying or asking me to do?"
• Low confidence undermines competence. You have the skills and capability, but your internal dialogue mutes your performance.
• Feeling a lack of confidence signals an amazing opportunity - you're right on the cusp of learning something new, and venturing where you've never been before.
• Fantasies about what others think is a common cause, and while somewhat valid, is usually massively exaggerated.
• Everyone, yes everyone, will feel a lack of confidence many times in their careers/lives - it's natural and part of the learning process. The problem is when you allow it to paralyse your action.

Last week’s article on trail blazers stretched some a little too far. 

Comments about how impossible it is to develop these, and in one case, “I’m just not like that.”

Nonsense.

These things are easy, when you know how.

How do I know that? 

• Why is the topic People Pleaser so important to people?
• What exactly is a People Pleaser?
• How to diagnose if you are a People Pleaser?
• Considering the context (or excuses?).
• Finding personal freedom (not to please).
• The subtle, and not so subtle, art of saying NO.
• Shifting the balance of power.
• Personal organisation - how to defend your time.
• Detaching yourself from the outcome.
• Maturing your position in life (and work).
• Lack of perceived value-add.

Over the last few weeks I’ve had many conversations about handling difficult people, both coaching sessions and my Let’s Talk group. A few things have become apparent.

• If you are facing up to a difficult person, there will be flaws in the relationship.
• If you have a flaw in your relationship, odds-on there is a problem with trust.

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