Gautrey Unleashed

People Pleasers (Gautrey Live)

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The last session of Gautrey Live on People Pleasers was extremely useful, and broke the time barrier due to the quality and quantity of interaction from Private Clients. The snippets make for interesting listing for anyone who is honest enough, at least privately, to agree that they are "a bit of a people pleaser!"  During the session, we covered key points such as...
  • Why is the topic People Pleaser so important to people?
  • What exactly is a People Pleaser?
  • How to diagnose if you are a People Pleaser?
  • Considering the context (or excuses?).
  • Finding personal freedom (not to please).
  • The subtle, and not so subtle, art of saying NO.
  • Shifting the balance of power.
  • Personal organisation - how to defend your time.
  • Detaching yourself from the outcome.
  • Maturing your position in life (and work).
  • Lack of perceived value-add.
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Are You Stuck in a Rut?

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If you're stuck in a rut, you're dying, little by little, day by day. The frustration, indecision, fear and anxiety build up first in your mind, then in your body. Stress does things to a body, we all know that. And the longer you are stuck, the bigger the hit you will take. Which means you have a choice to make. Are you going to wake up and do something about it? Read More

Buckle Up. Toughen Up.

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I may be wrong, but I don’t think so, not on this one.

If you are one of those people who is sensitive, easily offended, or takes things personally, you’re in for a rough ride.

The world is turning into a new phase, and for many it will not be pleasant at all.

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Subjective Reality

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Your reality is entirely subjective, because you are the only one experiencing it.

Only people with identical knowledge, awareness, experience, values, ambitions and circumstances will be able to experience your reality. Which is minuscule in probability. Read More

The Criticality of Trust

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Over the last few weeks I’ve had many conversations about handling difficult people, both coaching sessions and my Let’s Talk group. A few things have become apparent.

  • If you are facing up to a difficult person, there will be flaws in the relationship.
  • If you have a flaw in your relationship, odds-on there is a problem with trust.

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Threatening Your Values

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Earlier this week we had a lively debate in the Let’s Talk on Emotional Distraction. One of the areas we discussed what the structure of relationships and particularly, the areas where difference can interrupt the relationship. I first wrote about this a few months back in Diagnosing Relationship Problems.

In my experience, often it is the behaviour of other people that starts to trigger negative emotions, and they can disguise other differences and set the scene for stress and angst.  Read More

Expectations

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All round, it seems that expectations are a mug's game, whichever way you look at it. If you have expectations of others, you are sure to be disappointed. Not that they necessarily want to let you down. It may simply be they have other priorities, or interpretations of what you are expecting. Read More

Seeing the Bigger Picture

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When you aspire to great achievement, and lofty levels, begin with the bigger picture.

This means, having your own personal vision of what you intend to deliver. Not merely being a great leader, or a collaborator or some such noble aims. These are important, but in most senior stakeholders' minds, they are trumped by results. So, what actual results are you aiming to deliver with all that leadership ability?

Few people I begin to coach have got this nailed. Read More

Stop Fretting the How

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When it comes to remarkable achievement, it is never possible to know the how until you have arrived. Most times, at the beginning, it doesn’t even look feasible.

If you fret or worry about the how too soon, you’ll never get moving, and never find the way to make it happen.

The most important investment of your time and energy is on creating a crystal clear vision of what you want to achieve. Then, convincing yourself that (by hook or by crook) you will achieve it, with unshakeable conviction. Read More

Worrying, and other nasty little habits

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Worrying is one of those nasty little habits that are so common, like biting your nails. Unlike biting your nails though, worrying can have far greater consequences for you, your career and your life. Of course, worrying is about preparing for a future that may happen. Being ready should the worst happen. That's prudent. Read More

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