Simple idea to apply if you want to get more attention from powerful people.

Discover where they are looking right now. Network and learn about the challenges and problems they are grappling with today.

This is where the majority of their attention will be.

Then go stand in their line of sight and wave something interesting in their face.

That means, something you have, or can do, that will help them - with their top priorities.

Naturally, you’ll need to quickly back this up with credibility and skill, but I’m sure you already have oodles of that.

This is must easier than trying to distract their attention to get noticed. They are not interested in you when they have problems to solve.

So go on, get creative, step into the limelight, and add much needed value to these powerful people.

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One of the great things about life is that each day is a wonderful opportunity for a new beginning.

Whatever happened yesterday, happened yesterday, not today. Sure, you may have some legacy to deal with, but the events have happened.

Normal people carry those events with them into each new day, spoiling it with the troubles of the past. Reliving old dramas, perpetuating anger and frustration.

Extraordinary people have learned to quickly analyse those events, draw some learning from them, and then move onwards and upwards.

Rather than be shaped by the past events in our lives, each day gives us an opportunity to create afresh. Making different decisions, setting new goals, taking different actions - and choosing to adopt attitudes to suit.

It’s not what happens to us that matters, it’s what we make of it that really shapes our lives.

No matter how bad things have been, today you can choose to have a new day rather than relive an old day.

What sort of day are you determined to have today?

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I wonder, if you respect someone - maybe a colleague or a stakeholder - why? What is it about that that causes you to respect them?

It's worth pausing a few moments and thinking about a few people you respect in your life. Why do you respect them? The way you award respect can make a massive difference to the quality of your relationships.

Most people tend to answer that they respect the other person’s knowledge, expertise, skill or whatever. They may even respect them because of the way they treat others, or their direct and honest way of communicating.

That is all well and good, except, there is a problem. Read More

Trust is a troublesome five letter word pointing to a tricky concept.

Once mastered, it transforms relationships and results while creating friends for life.

Let’s simplify to get you tightly focused on your action.

Trust is the expectation of performance, be that keeping secrets, delivering on time, or any other performance you could be affected by.

You may want a supplier to tell you the truth, but you may expect them to lie. If you know what performance to expect, you can act accordingly, either relying on what they’ve said, or verifying with another source before you buy.

The real problem with lack of trust is the unpredictability, so you don’t know how best to act.

Think of a situation with a stakeholder. What do you expect them to do or say? If you don’t know, how can you find out? If you do know what to expect, will that be good or bad for you? What action needs to be taken?

The uncertainty is the killer when trust is not present or is patchy, making you inefficient in your own action.

Thus, the imperative in important relationships is to get to know them so well that you can predict even their feelings in different situations.

A great way of accelerating this is beginning by helping them get to know how predictably/reliable you are - in positive ways of course!

You are predictable in appropriate ways aren’t you?

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The way you award respect to others will have a material impact on your relationships. I would also argue, it also says a great deal about your level of maturity.

There are many ways to respect others, so let’s play a little game. 

Are you awarding respect in a healthy, or an unhealthy way?

Think of 3 or 4 people you respect.

For each, note down what why they have your respect.

Take your time, this is really important. If you can get this right, your relationships, and the benefits that flow (each way) are going to skyrocket.

Don’t miss this opportunity. Write them down, at least 3 reasons for each person you are thinking of.

Do you notice any themes in the way you award respect?

Much as I’d love to reveal what’s in my mind right now, I’m going to leave it for a few days to let you reflect. This will help you to embrace this idea.

Check back here end of the week and you'll find the continuation, Healthy Respect.

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Unless you are able to clearly state your vision or goal in a sentence or two, you’re missing opportunities to realise it.

If you can’t be clear, you will lose efficiency of your own thoughts and action. Wandering around looking lost.

If you cannot explain it quickly to others, they’ll get confused, waste their own thought and action, or just ignore you and get on with other things.

When you look and sound lost, why would anyone else jump aboard your vision and purpose?

Clarity also makes it easy to oppose and argue. Yet without this (creative) tension and challenge, your vision will probably flounder anyway.

Is that why you don’t invest in greater clarity, because you are scared of the challenge?

If so, I’ve some news for you. It’s heading in your direction anyway.

 

Time to get proactive, ahead of the challenge, and get crystal clear on what you are shooting for?

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…regardless of circumstance.

When you have developed to the stage where this is true, you’ve cracked this game of life.

You cannot control others to make you happy, nor can you control world events and government policy to make you happy.

Happiness comes from within, not without. And you can (in time) learn to control what’s going on inside. You can learn to choose how you relate to the world, and those around you. 

No, I don’t mean withdraw from the world, nor from the action around you. You can still work to shape events and circumstance. Just detach those outcomes from your feelings of happiness.

It takes time, discipline, and humility to cultivate this in your life, but every day you can step a little closer, by choosing to be happy, regardless. 

So, if you’d like a tip from me, set this as your goal, to be busy with life and happy whatever the outcome.

Go on, start today - make today a happy day!

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There are three main problems with lack of confidence.

1. Paralysis. Dazzled by the headlights, unable to act.
2. Under-Performance: Doing things far below the actual level of competence.
3. Delay: While the individual figures out what to do for the best.

To increase your self-confidence, recognise three things:

1. Confidence is a state of mind. As such is potentially within your control.
2. Feeling lack of confidence is a positive indicator that you sit on the edge of an exciting new opportunity to learn.
3. Confidence in one area can be leveraged onto other areas or tasks.

Boosting self-confidence is all about altering your thoughts, which affect your feelings and in turn, adapt your performance to meet the challenge.

Arguably, confidence is simply the journey we are all on in life. A natural progression  of ups and downs. The rollercoaster we can life.

Assuming you want to live, you have to learn to ride this well, and enjoy the bumps along the way.

Have fun!

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Life is so busy.

People to see, places to go. Aiming high, hitting goals.

What fun this life of thrills and spills.

But then what?

All those people you touched along the way, where are they?

It’s said that people remember not what you’ve done, but how you made them feel.

If you want them to be around you still, add a little warmth and genuine interest.

It’s easy to have excellent relationship, but enduring ones require an investment of care.

Making people feel like valued, amongst all that busyness, will earn you goodwill, loyalty and lasting friendship.

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As John Hardwick kindly mentioned yesterday, I’ve a few ideas about politics and influence. With nigh on 20 years experience coaching and training people on influence, here are 7 of the biggest mistakes people make when it comes to influence:-

1. Not Trying. Talking yourself out of even attempting to influence. “They’ll never say yes.”
2. Half-Hearted Attempt: Having a go, knowing they’ll say no. “They’ll never say yes but I’ve got to be seen to try.”
3. Speaking the Wrong Language. Using your own jargon and buzzwords instead of translating it into their world.
4. Ignoring their Agenda. Understandable since your agenda is the most important one on the planet.
5. Assuming their Agenda. You know what they are really after, you don’t even need to check. A tad arrogant me thinks.
6. Lack of Benefits: Or at least, failure to connect your ask with benefits to them. “They have the intelligence, and I wouldn’t want to patronise them.”
7. Trying Too Hard: Protesting too much? Looking a little desperate?

There are simple ways to avoid all of these mistakes that are well within your capability - yes, even you.

But first, be honest, which of these are you most guilty of?

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