“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call him an enemy, but…”
This was a comment I overhead during a workshop when two of my delegates were doing an exercise to analyse the position of a stakeholder. For me, it sparked a chain of events that have shaped the work I do, and how I help people, and, how I could help you.
If you’re working in a large complex organisation, especially at middle to senior levels, you’re going to have a diverse group of stakeholders that you need to influence and get bought in.
Without buy-in you’ll be sunk before you know it. You have to get people aligned to your proposals and plans in order to get anything significant done.
To think that they will all readily agree with you, and do what you want them to do, is madness. They won’t.
In fact, they shouldn’t do that in any case, at least initially. It is simply not healthy for the organisation.
I hear many examples of the problems that failure to gain buy-in present to talented and ambitious people. They face stakeholders who are:
- Disengaged. Rather than come straight out with their objections, they’d sooner just avoid you.
- Argumentative. Without ever getting to the crux of their objection, they fire off challenges and criticisms, often in large meetings. Embarrassing isn’t it?
- Manipulative. Instead of dealing with their problem (you) directly, they’ll go to extraordinary lengths to solve the problem (you).
- Deceptive. Yes, even stakeholders have been known to lie, sometimes outrageously so.
Wouldn’t it be much better for all concerned (including them) if instead they were:
- Constructive: Giving you feedback that can help you to move forward.
- Collaborative: Actively problem-solving with you so that together you can find the win/win solution.
- Honest: If they don’t agree with something you’re proposing, they level with you and put their cards on the table.
- Advocates: Actually shouting from the rooftops on your behalf. Not merely supporting you, but going out of their way to help you succeed.
If you’re resonating with this, and in a situation where you are charged with getting buy-in from stakeholders who really don’t want to, here are four things you ought to consider right away, and none of them are easy, sorry.
- They May Have a Point. There is no excuse for being nasty or aggressive in the workplace. However, their opposition to what you are trying to do may be wholly justified. When people are pushing back and saying no, you first need to accept that they could be right. Then think about why that might be the case.
- What Have You Done? Tough one, but the reason they are up in arms might be because of you. There is no rule that everyone has to like you. It may be that you are doing something that rankles, however small. Yes, even you! So, the second thing to do is take a good hard look at what you are doing, and the way you are doing it.
- Step-Up to the Plate. Make a decision to do something about it. No more wishing and hoping that they will come around. No more wishy washy half-hearted attempts to influence them. Make it your business, your mission, to win them over (if it’s right to do so). Put a smile on your face, take a deep breath and start to make it happen.
- Get Some Help. Particularly in really tough situations, you shouldn’t be trying to do it all yourself. Many time wise counsel, indirect influence or simply emotional support, can make the difference between success and failure.
Although it may seem contradictory to the second point, remember that in actual fact, it is highly unlikely to be personal to you. Sure, what you are doing is stimulating their reaction, but it is not you as a person – you just happen to be in the way, their way.
And as I like to remind my private clients, when something happens that is not agreeable, engage the logical mind, otherwise, let those emotions rip!
The Gautrey Influence Blog
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