A lot of people are probably on the belief that they should treat other people as they wish to be treated themselves, and that’s wrong. There’s a big mistake in this.
Why?
Well, frankly because everybody else isn’t like you. They’re not coded the same way. There’s a huge degree of variation in values, in behaviours, in personalities, and in styles. And what works for you may very well not work for other people, may alienate people, and people may just not like it. Their view of how people should be treated might be very different from yours.
So, when you say to yourself that you should treat other people as you wish to be treated to yourself, stop and think again.
Instead, try to think about how that other person would wish to be treated. Never mind what you think and how you wish to be treated, how do they wish to be treated? Then adapt your behaviour, your style accordingly.
We’ve seen this time and time again in the influence profile, and the different dimensions of behaviour. It shows up, and it’s very, very strong.
For instance, somebody who is favouring Tact and Diplomacy, that means they’re very considerate of other peoples’ thoughts and feelings. They want to understand their position. They are treating other people as they would wish to be treated themselves, with care, consideration and understanding.
However, people who are avoiding Tact and Diplomacy, these are the people who shoot from the hip. They just say what’s on their mind, bang. They’re not too concerned or even aware of how that might impact others. Those people, the way they would like to be treated, is to be told straight, right out front what is it that’s on your mind. That’s the way they’re coded.
Now, they can’t go and treat the people who are favouring Tact and Diplomacy in that way, because they’ll upset them. They will create a lot of damage. So, if the avoiding Tact and Diplomacy person treats everybody else the way they would wish to be treated, wow, we would have a lot of discontent and a lot of very toxic workplaces.
Similarly, if the people who are favouring Tact and Diplomacy treat everybody else the way they want to be treated, maybe we’d never get anything done, because we’d always be being so careful about the way people are feeling, the way people are thinking, and hesitating and being too cautious.
So, as you are approaching the world, what I would heartily recommend you do is instead of thinking how you want to be treated, think how they want to be treated,
The Gautrey Influence Blog
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