The initial session with a coaching client is perhaps the most critical one for the coach, and there is a great deal you need to achieve. During the call you will establish the relationship, build trust and create a firm foundation on which the success of the coaching programme will be based.
Here are some extra thoughts to help you get this right. They are particularly relevant to coaching people to influence more effectively.
- I like to introduce myself first because I can do this more succinctly than they can. Their introduction leads nicely into them explaining what is happening for them at the moment and what they are hoping to achieve. In the early days I sometimes found myself getting to the end of the call before realising I hadn’t told them anything about myself!
- During the time when they are telling their story, I will be actively listening and also throwing out ideas to gauge their reactions. This helps me to explore what is really going on and also, begin to determine what topics might be worth including in the programme. It also gives me ideas about the best terminology to use. For example, if someone is extremely opposed to office politics, I will probably title a session on this topics as “influencing Tactics” rather than “Handling Dirty Tricks.” I also try to tune in to their terminology. For example, some people refer to Stakeholder Engagement rather than Stakeholder Management. Use their terminology wherever possible.
- Confidentiality needs to be tackled seriously at some point during the call. How this happens depends a great deal on the origin of the call. On occasion, I have agreed to document something for political correctness when we both know what we really mean. For instance, if they share with me about the problems they are having with their boss, it would be foolhardy to document that. Instead, it usually appears as “Engaging Senior Stakeholders.”
- Yes, a major objective of this call is to establish a very robust level of trust. Rarely will they say they don’t totally trust their HR/Talent representative. However, if you subtly communicate the need for a careful approach (prudence), they will really appreciate it — or sometimes correct you and say they have nothing to worry about.
- Make sure to manage expectations. If you are not totally sure what needs to be in the programme, find a suitable way of giving yourself room to manoeuvre. For instance, you need to reflect a little before deciding what you think will work best for them. Alternatively, suggest you’ll send them a provisional outline to give them time to reflect as well before “we finalise it for HR.”
- At some point, you need to establish their priorities for this work. When do they want to start? How often do they want to have a session? How quickly do they want to complete the coaching? So much variance here. What I have found is that, especially at senior levels, there needs to be at least 2-3 weeks between sessions to give them an opportunity to move things forward. At those levels, they may not have frequent opportunities to engage with their important stakeholders. Since the focus on influence is about making things happen, the programme needs to be realistic. On the other hand, if you’re spacing the session more than 6 weeks apart, I would question the ability to maintain momentum and focus on the learning.
- Take care to understand the decision process. Don’t shy away from asking who is making the decision? Sometimes I have got to the position that the client is so keen to work with me we actually vocalise the question: how are we going to influence HR to say yes?
- I’m not going to talk about pricing here, but you should during your calls if it is appropriate to the decision making process. If HR is involved it is unlikely to be necessary as you will be having those conversations elsewhere. If the client is paying the bill, don’t leave it until they get the proposal, warm them up to the idea of the value you are putting at their disposal.
It is only now when I sit back and look at these articles that I realise just how much is packed into a very short call! If you’re new to this, make sure you have a checklist at your side. Alternatively, and this is highly recommended when you are starting out, schedule two calls. The first to get to know them and the second to discuss how you may be able to help. That gives both parties time to reflect.
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