It must be part of their approach, but just about everyone here seems curious to know what I do for a living. Which is a welcome distraction. And an opportunity to use this experience to reflect more on how people influence.
The nurse on the left of my bed begs this question. Then he explains he learned all about leadership in the services. As he busies himself doing something down on my arm, “So come on then Colin, what’s your top tip for leadership?”
I wasn’t really conscious of what he is doing, I just started to answer, enjoying the challenge of being put on the spot. Within seconds I’m distracted as a violent argument breaks out across the room. Two theatre staff are taking lumps out of each other, arguing over whose role it is to communicate with the patient.
My nurse glances over and continues his work while I lift my head and gaze across the room, aghast. All I can think of is how totally unprofessional they are. Oblivious to me, the patient, they hammer away at each other. And what about me, the patient? Lying there, anxious about what was happening to me. Helpless witness to such lack of care and consideration.
Lesson on Impact: At all times when you are visible you have the opportunity to create an impact and influence more people than you may realise. Make the most of it.
Of course, everyone is stressed, including the patients, I get that. But it doesn’t mean you have to be an arsehole. I don’t believe it helps you to get what you want.
For instance, the previous day the guy in the bed opposite me on the assessment ward was jumping up and down. He’d been there all the previous day waiting for a scan. So angry, he was threatening to discharge himself. Attempting to influence by force. But who, the nurses? They don’t manage the scheduling, they can’t influence priorities. So, what’s the point?
Easy to see why he was there. Stress clearly a big part of his life, and his (ill)health.
Alternative, just chill out, let them do their job. Smile and be friendly. That was my approach, lying there in pain, putting on my headphones and a big smile, drifting off to another world, giving people the space to get their job done.
And a secret smile as I went down for a scan before my neighbour. I’m sure my attitude did not influence the scheduling, but I was certainly the happier for it.
Lesson on Influence: There is a time to push and a time to just go with the flow. Choose your battles with care. And remember the internal impact of your approach.
When my crisis started, I’d been due to run a workshop. Obviously, that wasn’t going to happen, and I cancelled it on my way into hospital in the early hours. The first time ever in my career. I’d been so stoked up the previous evening. Determined to give them my all, excited to help.
And their response? Amazing. Absolutely incredible.
I’d been worried about cancelled journeys, disrupted work plans, missed opportunities to learn. But they were all marvellous and that had a huge impact on me. Not only were the delegates expressing concern for my wellbeing, several even offered to visit me knowing I was on my own far from home.
This has left a lasting impact on me. The goodwill I now have for them and their organisation will endure. They could have reacted differently, very differently, but they didn’t.
Lesson on Influence: When someone lets you down, does something that annoys you, don’t jump to conclusions. Before you respond, find out what is going on for them. It could be a golden opportunity to take the relationship to a whole new level.
If you’ve been though a similar crisis, you’ll recognise this next point.
When it comes to influencing yourself, whatever is happening, there is always an opportunity to make the most of it. Without going into detail, I used it as a time for deep reflection, practicing emotional management, planning my next moves (professional and personal), and much more.
Once the pain was under control, I got busy. And I can honestly say that though it was the worst week of my life, it was also one of the best. Bizarre though it may seem, I’m grateful to have had that opportunity.
Lesson on Life: Make the most of it, at all times.
And finally, I have to say how impressed I am overall with the healthcare we have available here. Such an amazing group of people, who despite internal wrangling, stress and pressures, are still able to make you feel valued. To put a smile on your face, and demonstrate what being human is all about.
It seems that throughout this week, people all around me have been able to make an impact on me, and because of where I was, that impact was magnified tenfold.
Oh, and the leadership tip given to the nurse preparing me for theatre?
“As a leader, work hard to figure out what those around you are hoping to achieve. That doesn’t mean you agree with them, cede to ambitions or pander to them. But, knowing where they are and where they want to go will give you vital insights to adjust your leadership influence for maximum effect.”
Anyhow, minus a gallbladder, I’m up and running again and it’s time to get cracking.
Thanks for listening.
The Gautrey Influence Blog
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