This is another of those traps which are so easy to fall into, particularly because you want to help so much. When you do fall into this, getting out again is rather difficult. It is not peculiar to influence coaching, however, there is something about this topic that makes it more likely.
Influence Coaching Trap #2 is:
Breaching client confidentiality.
This is especially relevant to influence coaching because:
- The content of your discussions is sensitive, and fascinating.
- Becoming more influential can be extremely useful to people, and can seriously affect other relationships around your client.
- Bosses and HR people are likely to be very interested in what their employee is thinking and what you are discussing in your meetings.
- Your delicate sharing of sensitive information could have a very positive effect. Which makes it more tempting for you to disclose.
- Oft-times clients, especially those who are struggling, will attempt to influence you to share things on their behalf in the hope that you will be able to influence others.
With your skills you may be able to safely mediate between your client and their boss if their relationship is strained (for instance). That doesn’t mean you should. In most cases, it is unwise because:
- You may not succeed, and then get blamed by one or both.
- You may make things worse, and then what are you going to do?
- You may succeed, and while everyone is thankful, how does that improve your client’s skills?
That is just one example, and I am sure you can think of plenty of other temptations.
It is important to remember what your role is. Doing things for your client is certainly not one of them. Helping your client to figure out how to work on their relationship challenges, confront difficult issues, and empower themselves to get things done is what coaching is all about. That creates sustainable skills improvement.
Finally, if you’ve done your job well to establish the confidentiality contract at the beginning, breaching it later, regardless of the circumstances, may be regarded as a betrayal. Strong words intentionally written.
Here are a few more tips on this topic:
- Make sure to agree the confidentiality aspects of your work with others like bosses/HR too.
- Reiterate the importance of confidentiality frequently.
- Do your sharing openly, with consent, and preferably, in writing.
- Whenever you sense your client trying to influence you to share more than you should, push back and encourage them to do it.
- If you think they should be sharing something more with their boss (or HR), make your view clear and encourage them to share while reminding them that you won’t.
And remember, that if you do, with the best of intention, share something that you shouldn’t do, the person you are sharing with may well thank you. But, will they respect and trust you?
The Gautrey Influence Blog
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