…It’s The Way That You Do It!
Behavioural style is a neat wrapper from the inimitable you. It may cloak who you really are, put some polish on your persona, or it may not, depending on how aware and skilled you are.
By wearing different behaviours, you may think that you are betraying your integrity, Authenticity is an important part of they way you engage with people, and pretending to be something/someone you are not is regarded by many as being manipulative.
Another perspective is that shifting your behaviour to suit the situation and people, what you are actually doing is helping them to understand what you have to say, instead of being distracted by your odd/strange behaviour! A little like when you go on your travels, it helps a great deal if you know a little of the local language.
The usefulness of each perspective, manipulation, helpfulness, needs to be determined by you and your situation – we are not here to sit in judgement. However, what you must become aware of is the degree to which your wonderful bright personality is hindering your progress.
Which is why the Influence Profile is so useful – it helps you to learn a framework of behaviours that you can choose to use to help certain individuals.
Earlier this week I set out a process for Diagnosing Relationship Problems that illustrates a little of what is on offer, and currently it is a free psychometric. Why not give it a go, loads of people have so far, and here are some of their reactions, and my responses:
- “I only scored a 4 on Determination, but I’m very determined, albeit quietly.” This sentiment talks to the trade-offs between the dimensions what might be happening here is favouring other behaviours in the framework that crowd out Determination. The most important thing to note though, is based on my research, quiet determination is sub-optimal: Ambitious? Demonstrate More Determination.
- “Oh my god, have you read my appraisal?” No.
- “Clearly I’m a cool-dude, how can I show more emotion?” Lots of ways, just be led by the framework examples. Take a look at Adding Emotions to Your Influence Processes and for controlling your emotions: STOP Getting Hijacked by Your Emotions.
- “So you’re telling me people think I’m rude?” Probably, with a score like that, but we all know you mean well. Explore a little further with The Seven Obstacles to Diplomacy.
- “It says here I’m may come across a little bland – harsh!” Come on, it’s just between you and I, but think about jazzing your style up a little Becoming a Colourful Personality at Work.
I could go on, but these should be enough to pique your curiosity and give it a g (see Influence Profile). Once you’ve go your report, I’ll furnish you wish some exercises and a video or two too, so you can begin to develop.
The Influence Profile
When it comes to understanding differences in style, and potentially avoiding personality clashes, by far the best tool available is the Influence Profile.
For the foreseeable future, this is now available free of charge, so you can use it to:
- Understand how your style differs from those around you, especially those you are having difficulties with.
- Build awareness of why others may be the way they are, and perhaps, learn to accept them as they are.
- Decide how to adapt your behaviour to lessen the risk that they will have a problem with you.
- Transform the quality of your relationships, at work and in life.
- Enjoy working with people who are very different from you.
Give it a go yourself, then share it with those around you. Getting your colleagues and friends, or team members up to speed will help you to all grow together, and work together even better.
If you’ve done it before, do it again and see what’s changed. It only takes 10 minutes and I’ve lined up some resources to hold your hand through the process and begin to start developing your ability to navigate differences in style.
Soon, you’ll have no excuse but to have the best of relationships!
The Gautrey Influence Blog
Ever felt overlooked, unheard, or stuck in office politics? You’re not alone. The Gautrey Influence Blog breaks down the real-world strategies behind leadership, influence, and power—giving you the tools to be heard, respected, and successful. Join 35,000+ professionals getting ahead the smart way—subscribe now..
💡 Benchmark your Influence: Take the Master of Influence Assessment (Free for Subscribers!)
👉 [Subscribe & Take the Assessment]
