A key aspect of influence is encouraging people into a state in which they are more likely to listen to what you have to say.
As an ethical influencer, you need people to pay attention, listen well and understand what you are asking them to do. Then they can think through the consequences and make clear decisions that will hopefully work in your favour as well.
What works against this is anything that distracts them, and those of you who have attended one of my workshops will know, this can quite easily happen if your style of influence is different from theirs. Instead of listening to what you have to say, they are distracted by the way you are saying it – your style.
You will also know, that you preferred style has been conditioned by repeated experiments during your lifetime. Try a behaviour and if it works, use it again. If it doesn’t, try a different behaviour. Carried out over years, this create habit or patterns of behaviour that you will tend to take to most every situation you encounter.
With awareness, you can adapt these habits, but most of the time you are likely to be more worried about the data you are presenting, or fearful of how your stakeholders may be reacting. Part of the reason for this is that repeating your accustomed behaviour makes you feel more comfortable. You are in your comfort-zone, doing what you’ve always done. Which leave more energy and attention to focus on the things you are anxious about.
During workshops, I encourage people to learn to become more comfortable adapting their behaviour to move towards the style (comfort-zone) of their stakeholders. This minimises the probability of distraction in the minds of their stakeholders, and maximises the chance that they will be listened to.
Until today, preparing for an executive presentation on influencing styles, it had not occurred to me that in effect, what this is doing is making the stakeholder feel more comfortable, and thereby allowing their attention and energy to focus on the decision in hand. You are in effect, putting them at ease, by demonstrating the sort of behaviour that they are most familiar with.
This increases the call to action that you become more mindful of the behavioural style you use when you are attempting to influence your stakeholders. Relaxed, comfortable people are far more likely to give you a fair heading, be generous with their time, and listen with an open mind.
To learn more about influencing styles, if you are not yet familiar with them, take a look at: The Gautrey Influence Profile
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