Relationships need to be in good shape if you are going to be able to deliver at your best. You have relationships all around you: your boss, your co-workers, your team members, and many more besides. When they are not working, problems quickly ensue.
If you are interested in improving a specific relationship, it really helps to quantify exactly what you are aiming for, and find a way to measure the quality of your relationship. This will help you to focus on what to improve and find actions you can take that will (hopefully) move you towards your goal.
Rather than tell you what you should measure, I’d like you to work it out for yourself, lay down some measures appropriate for you, and then set about making it happen.
To do this, reflect a little on relationships that work really well. You will probably see that they all have lots of trust between the two parties, communication works really well, and if a problem does arise, it is proactively worked on to arrive at a solution.
In large scale relationships such as between two companies, we look at three key themes. Take a look at each of these articles to get an idea of what we are looking for to demonstrate quality in each area:
- Trust and Credibility. What to look out for to determine if this theme is healthy within your relationship.
- Communication and Influence. Some indicators that you’ve got the balance right, or wrong!
- Problem Solving and Conflict Resolution. When the going gets tough, what processes come into play to keep things moving forward?
Okay, that is the way we measure relationships that have tens if not hundreds of people all contributing to the overall quality of the relationship. However, many of the same things apply to a relationship of just two people. Below are some examples, based on our collaboration survey, but orientated towards thinking about your relationship with another individual.
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Each of these statements might be preceded with, Colin…
- Expresses his expectations clearly.
- Does what he says he is going to do.
- Is honest and truthful with me.
- Consults with me on plans for the future.
- Is reliable.
- Respects me.
- Involves me in decisions which affect me.
- Involves me in decisions which don’t affect me.
- Is committed to our joint success.
- Shows genuine concern for me.
- Works with me in a spirit of partnership.
- Is forthright and friendly.
- Works proactively to resolve issues and problems.
- Understands my agenda and goals.
- Works constructively with me when things go wrong.
- Commits time to supporting me.
If you were to use the list above to measure your relationship with me, you might reflect on what it is like working with me, and score each of the above statements out of 10, 10 being totally true.
So, take the list above, think about what is really important to you in the relationship you wish to work on, and then add and subtract statements – come up with your own list. Then, settle on somewhere between 5 and 10 statements which are most important to you right now.
Once you have your final list, use them to score the relationship you wish to improve. Keep a record of the scores and then start to figure out what action you could take to get the scores moving up. In this way, you can measure, action, measure again… You might find it interesting to score them again, this time thinking how the other person might score you on each of these statements.
Sure, it takes two to tango, and the other person has to play their part, but what you have right now is the opportunity to take the lead and start becoming proactive.
The Gautrey Influence Blog
Ever felt overlooked, unheard, or stuck in office politics? You’re not alone. The Gautrey Influence Blog breaks down the real-world strategies behind leadership, influence, and power—giving you the tools to be heard, respected, and successful. Join 35,000+ professionals getting ahead the smart way—subscribe now..
💡 Benchmark your Influence: Take the Master of Influence Assessment (Free for Subscribers!)
👉 [Subscribe & Take the Assessment]