Your ability to demonstrate confidence will have a marked impact on your capability to influence people.
People want to see that you’re confident, that you know what you’re talking about, that you’re sure that it’s in their best interest to say yes to you.
Therefore, you need to be very conscious of when lack of confidence starts to rise within you. It is inevitable at some point because it is a natural part of learning and growing.
Whenever we face a new situation or a new decision that we’ve got to make or a new thing that we’ve got to do, that lack of confidence will start to raise its head. It is actually an indicator you have got to do some learning. You’ve got to actually stretch yourself, take on board new ideas and do something different so that you can perform.
Recognise that it’s a natural part of learning, developing, growing, because then that starts to take some of the apprehension out of it because it’s a call to action to do something different.
The first thing to realise is that confidence is usually situational. When you feel lack of confidence, pull apart the event or the situation that is creating that and start to look at where it’s happening, who it’s happening with, what sort of decision is being made, who are going to be there, what are the ramifications of this situation? What are the other pressures being brought to bear on it?
If you can pinpoint what is causing you to feel that lack of confidence, then you can focus your attention there and do something about it.
Another thing is that most of us have a habitual base for our confidence. Most people, that’s their subject matter expertise, their ability to know what’s going on maybe with a particular product. But, you take that person and put them into a new product line, something they’ve never dealt with before and suddenly their confidence is evaporated because they’re used to relying on their product knowledge, their subject matter expertise.
If you’re in that situation, think about what you are personally relying on in order to allow you to feel confident that you can handle whatever comes. You might want to shift confidence to your ability to manage processes, your ability to find answers, your problem solving skills. Then you could be confident that although you are dealing with a new product, you have the skills to get to the bottom of what needs to happen, fast.
It is also interesting to observe that many people get obsessed with the consequences for whatever situation they are about to deal with. “What if this happens?” “What if they raise this objection?” “What if something goes on over here?” Quickly this can descent into paranoia.
Alternatively, you can start to do is to say: “Well, so what? So what if they raise other objections?” “What can I do in that situation to quickly restore my sense of confidence?” Then people begin to move from obsessing about the what ifs, to feeling the so whats. They start to relax and then they can perform in a much more resourceful state.
Don’t take the so what to the level of arrogance because that will harm you.
When you remember these three things, you will start to quickly find simple, practical ways to be able to answer the question:
“What have you got to do to be really confident in this situation?”
More About Confidence
- The Common Obstacles to Greater Progress
- Demonstrating Confidence, Avoiding Arrogance
- Deconstructing Self-Confidence
The Gautrey Influence Blog
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