Trust is a tricky yet vital element to all relationships. Good levels of trust are required for them to function well.
Trust is not a black or white, yes or no, type of concept. And, if you want it in good order, it pays to know what it is, what it is not, and how it emerges and develops within relationships.
Then you can make it real in your relationships far more easily, and take appropriate action to maximise it.
Trouble is, can you pin it down? Can you quantify it? Do you realise just how fickle this beast is? Here are seven factors to consider that will challenge even the most experienced:-
- Trust is all about reliability and predictability. When you can rely on someone to tell you the truth, to do what they say they are doing to do, and to respond in the way you expect them to, trust is present.
- Lack of trust comes from the unreliability, unpredictability. If you don’t know what people may do, how can you prepare? If you cannot rely on their word, what is the truth?
- Instead of asking do you trust someone or not, consider what can you trust on, to what extent and in what circumstances? You may be able to rely on someone’s word until their job is on the line – then they’ll lie and play politics to save their skin.
- Trust allows you to prepare and respond to the other party. If you can rely on what they say, you know what to do. If you cannot trust them, you don’t know what you’ll need to do – so how can you prepare?
- Negative trust is better than lack of trust. If you can predict that someone will let you down, or gossip about your intimate disclosures, you can prepare accordingly.
- Trust cannot be taken for granted. Not only is it hard calibrate, it can change, on either side, as environmental conditions change, in a flash. If a once-trusted friend changes reporting lines to your enemy, what now?
- Awarding trust on assumptions, legacy, stereotypes, hearsay or faith, is a mugs game when the stakes are high. Verify assumptions. Check details, Validate your trust – as appropriate.
This last point is really the main point.
Since trust is a very fickle beast indeed, you have to be careful when the stakes are high.
Don’t over-rely on past experience, and take care not to be too distrustful.
One of the best ways to build trust, is to award trust, but proceed with caution as you verify the level of trust.
Read more about Building Trust
- Building Trust in a New Relationship
- Does Your Stakeholder Trust You?
- Why Your Boss Should Not Trust You
- Five Vital Questions for Today
Colin Gautrey
Provocative Coach/Mentor | Specialism: Impact and Influence
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