It’s only just occurred to me that one client last year said to me in frustration, “I just wish the world would stop for a while.” One tends to hope that was a simple wish not a root cause of the current pandemic, but who knows?
Though now it is happening, many clients are taking this opportunity to pause and take stock with their lives and careers. A common starting point for many, “Is this what I really want?”
Then we get talking, and many start off down a familiar path, thinking of ambitions, goals, new jobs, achievements they have been shooting for, or aspire to now.
Several are also asking deeper questions about life, the way they live and work, and challenging themselves to dare to be more radical.
This gets my vote every time, and it starts to move people towards a different kind of goal, feeling goals rather than achievement goals. As I asked of one client recently, “What emotions do you want to be feeling each and every day?” A different train of thought soon arose.
As we all know, the major risk with the traditional notion of goals is that when you get there, you are already aiming for the next thing. Worse, you realise too late that it is not as fulfilling as you thought it would be, or that you don’t like the unexpected side-effects.
Once you set your sights on the emotions you wish to feel, then you can comfortably settle on how you are going to achieve that. As you strive to complete those actions, you’ll be on the journey towards the emotions. And if you find an easier way to get the emotion, you can change course easily.
For instance, right now you may decide you wish to be intellectually challenged each and every day. You may then decide that a great way to do that would be to be promoted to Head of Technical Services. So off you go, no problem. Then one day you’re sitting in the sun doing the crossword, or reading a journal. Ah, intellectually challenged. Other routes to intellectual stimulation start to arise.
If what you wish for, the emotions that any goal could give you, could be delivered right now by choosing a different goal, like becoming a quiz master, why would you wait for promotion?
One of the most interesting consequences of turning your attention from achievement to emotional goals is that you have a lot more choice. You don’t have to become a CEO to feel successful. If you wish to be happy, you can feel that right now, you don’t need to do or get anything to create that feeling inside.
Which then means, much more room to explore and have some fun in this journey we call life.
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