“I’m constantly second-guessing what they want—and I’m still getting it wrong.”
You rewrite the email three times.
You try to read between the lines in meetings.
You hesitate before speaking—because if you get it wrong again, you’ll just get that look.
Working under someone unclear, inconsistent, or impossible to read creates a very specific kind of stress.
You’re not just trying to do a good job—you’re trying to predict the unknowable.
And it chips away at your confidence with every missed cue.
What This Feels Like
- You stop trusting your instincts.
- You delay decisions, looking for signs.
- You hold back ideas—because you don’t know how they’ll land.
Eventually, you lose the sense of what you think is good—because you’re constantly reacting to someone else’s ever-shifting expectations.
Three Steps to Regain Clarity and Control
This is about reducing guesswork—and taking quiet control of the dynamic.
1. Make your reasoning visible
“Here’s what I’ve focused on—and why I think it aligns with what you need.”
This begins to shift perception: from reactive worker to thoughtful partner. It also puts your logic on the table, which they may start to adopt or adjust to.
2. Ask short, structured questions
Instead of trying to decode vague instructions, try:
“Just to clarify, is the priority speed or polish here?”
“Would you prefer a full draft, or just the outline?”
Tight options reduce ambiguity—and often make them feel clearer too.
3. Track the patterns
Even inconsistent people have habits.
- When do they contradict themselves?
- What do they always question?
- What do they never notice?
Recognising their rhythm lets you work more confidently within it—and sometimes around it.
What Happens When You Get Off the Back Foot
You stop looking for signs and start setting your own.
You begin to work with greater freedom, even within constraints.
And you find your voice again—not because everything’s clear, but because you are.
Because second-guessing doesn’t make you better.
It just makes you smaller.
The Gautrey Influence Blog
Ever felt overlooked, unheard, or stuck in office politics? You’re not alone. The Gautrey Influence Blog breaks down the real-world strategies behind leadership, influence, and power—giving you the tools to be heard, respected, and successful. Join 35,000+ professionals getting ahead the smart way—subscribe now..
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